He was sober enough now, and in her voice, her attitude, he read his hopeless condemnation. Between him and this high-hearted woman had conic that which would never be removed; before her he was shamed to eternity. Never again could he speak with her of truth, of justice, of noble aims; the words would mock him. Never again could he take her kiss upon his lips without shrinking. Her way henceforth lay ever further from his own. What part had she in a life become so base? What place had she under a roof dishonoured? If some day she wedded, his existence would be to her a secret shame. For—worst thought of all—it was whispered to his conscience that she did not credit even what he now told her. He seemed to himself to have betrayed the second untruth by his way of speaking it. In the silence which followed upon her words he heard promptings of despair. How could he live in her presence from day to day, not daring to meet her eyes? He looked back upon the years behind him, and they seemed to overflow with peaceful happiness. Irretrievable, his yielding and his shame; irrecoverable, the conscious rectitude bartered so cheaply. He saw now that his life had held vast blessings, and they were for ever lost.
Emily was speaking.
'Do you wish to stay here this evening, father?'
'No,' he answered hastily, 'I only called you up for—for that.'
Her heart reproached her with cruelty, but what remained save to leave him to himself? They could not face each other, could not exchange a natural word.
'Emily!'
She turned at the door. He had called her, but did not continue to speak.
'Yes, father?'
'It's only for to-night. You'll—you'll sit with me again as usual?'
'Oh, I hope so!'