‘I should like you to think better of me than that. I’m not one of those people, I hope, who use every accident to point a moral, and begin by inventing the moral to suit their own convictions. I know all the details of your misfortune.’
‘Oh, wasn’t it cruel that she should take such revenge upon me!’ Her voice rose in unrestrained emotion. ‘Just because she envied me that poor bit of advantage over her! How could I be expected to refuse the chance that was offered? It would have been no use; she couldn’t have kept the part. And I was so near success. I had never had a chance of showing what I could do. It wasn’t much of a part, really, but it was the lead, at all events, and it would have made people pay attention to me. You don’t know how strongly I was always drawn to the stage; there I found the work for which I was meant. And I strove so hard to make my way. I had no friends, no money. I earned only just enough to supply my needs. I know what people think about actresses. Mr. Kirkwood, do you imagine I have been living at my ease, congratulating myself that I had escaped from all hardships?’
He could not raise his eyes. As she still awaited his answer, he said in rather a hard voice:
‘As I have told you, I read all the details that were published.
‘Then you know that I was working hard and honestly—working far, far harder than when I lived in Clerkenwell Close. But I don’t know why I am talking to you about it. It’s all over. I went my own way, and I all but won what I fought for. You may very well say, what’s the use of mourning over one’s fate?’
Sidney had risen.
‘You were strong in your resolve to succeed,’ he said gravely, ‘and you will find strength to meet even this trial.’
‘A weaker woman would suffer far less. One with a little more strength of character would kill herself.’
‘No. In that you mistake. You have not yourself only to think of. It would be an easy thing to put an end to your life. You have a duty to your father.’
She bent her head.