STOLEN MONEY.
I landed at Natchez one evening just after dark, on the steamer General Quitman. Some one told me that a lady had been robbed of $3,500 that day by some smart thieves. They had watched her go into the bank and draw the money, and then walk over to her carriage, a short distance from the bank. One of the crooks took off his hat, put a pen behind his ear, ran over to the carriage, and said: "Madam, you must excuse me, for I have made a mistake in the money I gave you. You need not get out, but sit still; I will go back and rectify it." She handed him the money, never to see it or him again. After we backed out from Natchez, I opened out my wheel in the barber shop. The passengers came in and played until 1 A. M., when I closed up. While I was packing up my wheel, a fellow came to me and said, "I've got a man with me who has got about $1,700, and I want him to lose it. He loves to play poker; do you think you can beat him?" "Oh, yes," I replied, "I can come pretty near doing it." He said, "I want half, as he is a thief, and no good. I had to divide $3,500 with him that I got in Natchez to-day." "Well, bring him to me, and I will try it;" and he did so. I was not long in doing him up for his part of the stealings. I divided with the other thief, and then opened out my rouge et noir game. The other fellow dropped in, and I won his part of the money, so I had it all. I bid him good night and went to bed; but I could not sleep, because I knew the one I beat last would rob me if he got a chance. I laid in my bed a long time. Presently I heard some one feel the knob of the outside door. I was in the upper berth, and had my pistol under my pillow. My partner was in the lower berth, for he had not been well that night, and went to bed early. Pretty soon, bang went the lock, and a piece of it fell on the floor. Then everything was still for some time, and at last in he came. Just as he commenced to look about him to see how the land lay, I pulled down on him with my gun, as I could see him plainly by the light through the transom. He saw the gun, and did not stop on the order of his going, but he went at once. I got up, dressed myself, and went out to the bar. There was Mr. Thief. I accused him of being in my room, but he denied it. I knew he was lying, but I thought best not to do anything with him, for fear I might have to give up the "stolen money," and I had not lost any myself.
SIGNAL SERVICE.
Before the war they had an old steamer fitted up as a wharf-boat and lodging-house at Baton Rouge, to accommodate people that landed late at night, or would be waiting for a boat. This old boat was headquarters for the gamblers that ran the river. Many a night we have played cards in the old cabin until morning, or until our boat would arrive. When thoroughbred gamblers meet around the table at a game of cards, then comes the tug of war. We would have some very hard games at times, and we found it pretty hard to hold our own. My partner proposed that we fix up some plan to down the gamblers that played with us on the old boat, so we finally hit upon a scheme. We bored a hole under one of the tables, and another under one of the beds in a state-room opposite. Then we fixed a nail into a spring, and fastened the spring on the under side of the floor, so that the nail would come up through the floor under the table. Next we attached a fine wire to the spring, and ran it up into the state-room. Then we bored a hole in the bulkhead of the state-room, just over the top berth, so that a person could lie in the berth and look out into the cabin. Now we were ready for the thoroughbreds. When we would get one of our smart friends, we would seat him at our table in his chair, which was always on the side of our state-room. We called it ours, for we had fitted it up just to suit us; and for fear some one would use it when we were out traveling for our health, we paid for it all the time. We had a good boy that liked to lie down and make money, so we would put him in the upper berth while the game was in progress. He would look through the peep-hole, and if our friend had one pair he would pull the wire once; if two pair, twice; if threes, three times; if fours, four times, etc. We would kick off one boot and put our foot over the nail, and then we would be able to tell what hand our friend held. One day I was playing a friend at our table, and he was seated in his chair. I got the signals all right for some time, and then the under-current seemed to be broken. I waited for the signals until I could not wait any longer, for I was a little behind (time), so I picked up a spittoon and let fly at our room. That restored communications, and I received the signals all right. My friend wanted to know what I threw the spittoon for. I told him the cards were running so bad that I got mad; and that an old nigger had told me once it was a good sign to kick over a spittoon when playing cards; so I thought I would not only kick it over, but would break the d——d thing all to pieces. He replied, "I noticed that your luck changed just after you threw her, and I will try it the next time I play in bad luck."
GOT UP TOO SOON.
We were passengers with Captain J. M. White on board the steamer Katie, bound for New Orleans, one night, and I had taken a look over the boat, but there was nothing in sight. I was sitting in the hall near the bar, drinking wine and enjoying myself, when a fine looking gentleman came out of his room near by and asked me if supper was over. I told him it was, and asked him to join me in some wine, as he looked like he wanted something. He accepted the invitation, and told me he was hungry. I called the porter and told him to go to the pantry and get the gentleman a lunch, which he did. He thanked me for my kindness, for he thought I acted from pure motives (which I did), and then invited me to join him in some wine. I accepted, for I thought his intentions were honorable. While we were talking and drinking, I asked the barkeeper if he had any of the tickets that the gentleman played the new game with before supper. He said he had, and gave me some of them. I began throwing. We bet the drinks, cigars, and drinks again. I lost most of the time. My capper lost a bet of $500, when the gentleman said: "Good gracious, man! where are your eyes? Can't you see that the baby card has a spot on it?" My partner told him he had not noticed the spot, so the man pointed it out to him. Then he made me another bet, and won.
The gentleman then began to think he was smarter than the man who had lost $500 and could not win it back until he told him about the little spot. I saw he was worked up, so I asked him if he wanted to win something before I quit, as I had no idea of betting money on the game when I sat down; but I would bet him $100 he could not turn the card with the baby on. He flashed his leather, when I saw several large bills; but I pretended not to notice them, and said, "Perhaps you had better not bet, for if you lose it might distress you; but if I lose I will not mind it much, as my father has five plantations." He did not like for me to think that the loss of a paltry $100 would distress him, so he said, "I can afford to bet you $2,000, win or lose." That made me mad, so I said, "I will make it $5,000, if you like." He knew he would win; but he was no hog, and did not want me to ask my old dad for money so soon. My partner wanted him to make it $5,000, and offered to take half, but I said, "No; one at a time, gentlemen." Then the fellow put up, saying to my partner, "I thank you, but I am able to take it myself." He turned the spotted fawn, and found that, if he was not a hog, he was a sucker. I then told him I thought he was too much excited, and invited him to join me in a drink; for I was always very liberal about treating a man that had but little if any money. He accepted the invitation, for now he knew I was a gentleman, and that my motives were honorable. After taking our drinks, he bid me good-night and walked away, and I thought I heard him say, "I would have been better off if I had remained in bed until morning." I thought myself that he "got up too soon."
THE YELLOW JEANS.
At one time on the Upper Mississippi, while playing monte, I caught a Jew from Quincy, Ill., who had been down to St. Louis buying a stock of jewelry. I won all his money and the most of his best jewelry. I would not gamble for anything but good stuff in the jewelry line. After I beat the Jew he set up a big kick, and got some of the other losers to join him. They finally agreed that they would make me give up; so they all got after me, and I knew there would be some fun. I got my gun, backed up against the side of the cabin, and said: "Now, gentlemen, I am ready to pay out; the bank is open. The first one that comes shall be the first served, so don't be backward." But, somehow or another, no one wanted to be first, and I stood pat until the boat landed at a town called Warsaw; then I backed out of the cabin, down stairs, and off the boat. When they saw me on the shore, they set up a yell of "Police! Police! Arrest the fellow with the yellow jeans suit." The marshal came running down, and I told him I was the man they wanted arrested; so he waltzed me up to town, and nearly all the passengers followed us—some to get their money back, and others to see the fun. The Captain said he would hold the boat if they would decide the case at once, so the Mayor convened his court and we went into the trial. I had sent for the best lawyer in the town, and he said he would clear me for $50. The Jew was put on the stand, and he swore I snatched his jewelry from him, and a great deal more of the same sort. Some of the passengers that had seen the game swore they did not see any body do any snatching except the Jew. My lawyer handled the case so nicely that I was acquitted. Then you should have heard the passengers laugh at the Jew for all his trouble. They would ask him if he did not want to trade some jewelry for a yellow jeans suit; but he did not have any good jewelry left, and he knew I was not sucker enough to trade for any other kind. There was another boat at the landing, and many of the passengers went up to hear the trial. I went on board the other boat, and in a short time was on my way back to St. Louis. During the trip I ran up a poker hand in a game of euchre, and lifted a man out of $300, which more than paid the expenses of the trial.