Although the first conjugal approaches are ordinarily accompanied by slight flooding, a loss of blood does not always occur. Its absence proves nothing. The appearance of blood was formerly regarded as a test of virginity. The Israelites, Arabs, and others carefully preserved and triumphantly exhibited the evidence of it as an infallible sign of the virtue of the bride. They were in error. Its presence is as destitute of signification as its absence; for it is now well known that widows, and wives long separated from their husbands, often have a like experience. The temperament is not without its influence. In those of lymphatic temperament, pale blondes, who often suffer from local discharge and weakness, the parts being relaxed, there is less pain and little or no hæmorrhage. In brunettes, who have never had any such troubles, the case is reversed. The use of baths, unguents, etc., by the young wife, however serviceable they might prove, is obviously impracticable. This great change sometimes also produces swelling and inflammation of the glands of the neck.
Marital relations ordinarily continue during the first few weeks to be more or less painful. General constitutional disturbance and disorders of the nervous system often result. These troubles are all increased by the stupid custom of hurrying the bride from place to place, at a time when the bodily quiet and the mental calmness and serenity so desirable to her should be the only objects in view. Too frequent indulgence at this period is a fruitful source of various inflammatory diseases, and often occasions temporary sterility and ill-health. The old custom requiring a three days' separation after the first nuptial approach was a wise one, securing to the young wife the soothing and restoring influence of rest. Nothing was lost by it, and much gained.
In a little while, however, all irritation should subside, and no suffering or distress of any kind, whether general or local, should attend upon the performance of this important function. The presence of suffering now becomes indicative of disease. Of this we will speak hereafter.
SHALL HUSBAND AND WIFE OCCUPY THE SAME ROOM AND BED?
One-third of life is passed in sleep. This period of unconsciousness and rest is necessary for the renewal of vital strength, and upon its proper management depends much of the health not merely of the husband and wife, but of their offspring. A great deal has been written upon the effect on health and happiness of occupying separate apartments, separate beds in the same apartment, or the same bed. This vexed question it is impossible to settle by absolute rules, suitable to all cases. In general, it may be asserted that there are no valid physiological reasons for desiring to change the custom which now prevails in this and most other countries. When both parties are in good health, and of nearly the same age, one bed-chamber, if sufficiently roomy, may be used without any disadvantage to either. Such an arrangement is also to be commended, because it secures closer companionship, and thus developes and sustains mutual affection.
It is said that in Zurich, in the olden time, when a quarrelsome couple applied for a divorce, the magistrate refused to listen to them at first. He ordered that they should be shut up together in one room for three days, with one bed, one table, one plate, and one cup. Their food was passed in by attendants, who neither saw nor spoke to them. On the expiration of the three days, it was usual to find that neither of them wanted a separation.
As before stated, there are conditions under which sleeping together is prejudicial to the health. A certain amount of fresh air during the night is required by every one. Re-breathed air is poisonous. During sleep constant exhalations take place from the lungs and from the skin, which are injurious if absorbed. A room twelve feet square is too small for two persons, unless it is so thoroughly ventilated that there is a constant change of air. In fact, a sleeping apartment for two persons should contain an air-space of at least twenty-four hundred cubic feet, and the facilities for ventilation should be such that the whole amount will be changed in an hour,—that is, at the rate of forty cubic feet per minute; for it has been ascertained that twenty cubic feet of fresh air a minute are required for every healthy adult.
Very young and very old people should never occupy the same bed. When the married couple hold the relation to each other, in regard to age, of grandfather and granddaughter, separate apartments should be insisted upon.
Certain diseases can be produced by sleeping together. The bed of a consumptive, it is well known, is a powerful source of contagion. In Italy it is the custom, after death, to destroy the bed-clothes of consumptive patients. Tubercular disease has, within the past few years, been transferred from men to animals by inoculation. Authentic cases are upon record of young robust girls of healthy parentage, marrying men affected with consumption, acquiring the disease in a short time, and dying, in some instances, before their husbands. In these significant cases, the sickly emanations have apparently been communicated during sleep. When, therefore, either husband or wife is known to have consumption, it would be highly imprudent for them to pass the long hours of the night either in the same bed or in the same room.