Mrs. Hartland was faithful to the charge of her dying son. From that time forth, as long as she lived, she was “a mother and a friend” to Miss Thomas, and from that time forth Miss Thomas called her “mother.” What wonder that she wrote to Miss Hartland while her grief was new, “I feel so thankful ever to have had the love of such a brave, good, noble man? Oh, Lily, what have I lost?” With wonted kindness Mrs. May granted Miss Thomas leave of absence. Part of the resting-time was spent with Mrs. Hartland and part with her cousin in Yorkshire.
At first, in the great weariness following suspense and shock, Miss Thomas confessed more than once a yearning to follow her dear one into the great rest. But her native strength of mind, and her loyalty to God quickly conquered such weakness. Rather would she live to carry on his work.
The following extracts from letters written while her great sorrow was still fresh and keen, will give the reader some insight into the inner life of a woman who was learning in the school of pain, those deeper lessons of the faith, which may be learned by rote in other schools, but not by heart, lessons which she never forgot, which contain the last secret of her victorious life.
“August 21st. (To Mrs. Hartland.) But don’t think from this that I am worrying or fretting; for I am not. God is with me, and I feel more and more as the days go by that our darling’s prayers for me have been wonderfully answered, that I am helped and comforted. And is it not an honour and privilege ‘to know Him and the fellowship of His sufferings’? He has always been with me in trouble and sorrow, but never so near as in this the deepest of all. I hardly like to write thus, but I want you to know, so that you may not be anxious about me. And as to my future, I have left it with Him to do as He will with me, and I pray for grace to be faithful in whatever work He calls me to.”
“August 28th. (To Miss Hartland.) To-day I have had a letter, a very precious one, from Mr. Comber.... I think he is feeling his loss very much, though he writes as brightly as he can.... Since I have been back I have read through Farrar’s ‘Life of Christ,’ and it has helped me so much. I think these sorrows must be sent to us to make us know that ‘Christ is all in all’; for gradually we come to learn that having Him we can do without all else. And yet, how we long for human love! Nor do I think it can be wrong to do so; for even Christ looked for human sympathy in His sorrow. He could not find it. And, oh, how much we have had in ours! I never so much realised before the oneness of the people of God; so many kind letters from far and near, some even from unknown friends, and yet so full of sympathy and prayer. I have thought of that verse so often:—
“‘His way was much rougher and darker than mine;
Did Christ my Lord suffer, and shall I repine?’”
“Same date. (To Mrs. Hartland.) I am very thankful the way seems to be opening. Of course I will go to India if it is thought best. But no one knows how dear and sacred Africa is to me.... My only wish now is to live as he lived, and when my work is done (if God wills) to die as he died, for Christ and Africa. I do think of you so much, and could almost envy you at times the sweet, pure memories of his boyish days. I do feel it is an honour to have had the love (for so many years though I did not know it) of such a noble, true, good man. And I am sure you, dear mother, feel it a high privilege to have had such a son. It is a great comfort to look back, and while we sorrow, to feel there is nothing to regret. A pure, noble life, and a glorious death. I think of that text so often, ‘If ye loved Me, ye would rejoice because I go to My Father.’ Oh, how happy he must be!”
As soon as she had recovered strength after the shock of her great bereavement, Miss Thomas formed the determination to go to the mission-field alone, and with little delay made application to the Baptist Missionary Society. Her application was accepted in September. At first there was thought of sending her to India, but finally, to her great joy, it was decided that she should labour at the Cameroons, travelling thither with Miss Comber, who had already spent one term of service in the field which her brother had left for the Congo.