I am so well acquainted with despair,
I know not how to hope; I believe all.
DECKAR.
Oh! press me, baby, with thy hand,
It loosens something at my chest;
About that tight and deadly band
I feel thy little fingers prest.
WORDSWORTH.
Although the life of a gamester is full of emotion, full of successes and reverses, the incidents are all so very similar that I need not enter into more details. Suffice it, that Cecil made such frequent applications to Captain Heath, that a point blank refusal came at last; much to Blanche's satisfaction, for she deeply felt the humiliation of seeing him plundered in that shameless way to feed the gaming-table. She knew that it was for her sake Heath gave the money; and she knew that it only added fresh fuel to her husband's unhappy passion.
The last few weeks had completely banished from her heart all hope of an amendment. Not only had Cecil shamelessly applied to Heath for money in advance on a picture which he had made no attempt even to commence; but he had, by one act, opened her eyes to the extent of his reckless infatuation.
It was about a fortnight after Captain Heath's visit, when, as Cecil sat in his usual attitude over the fire, indolently smoking a cigar, Blanche said to him,—
"When are you going to paint that picture, dearest, which you have engaged for?"
"In good time."
"But why not do it at once?"
"He did not stipulate that it was to be done at once, did he?"
"No; but there can be no reason why you should not do it. You have nothing else in hand. Besides, when that is finished you can paint another; and you know how badly we want money."