Is there not something singularly distressing in such an existence? To struggle daily with the capricious turns of fortune for a miserable three half-crowns, and to gain that only by consummate self-mastery! Yet there are men who choose such a life, rather than one of honourable labour; men who have mastery enough over their passions to be cool at the gaming-table, yet not sufficient mastery to keep from it! This would be inexplicable did we not know the powerful attraction of all exciting uncertainty: did we not recognise the inherent desire for emotional excitement which is implanted in every heart. In honourable labour such men have not learnt to seek their excitement—they find it at the gaming-table; and hence the fascination of gaming. It is to be noted, in confirmation of what has just been said, that inveterate gamesters are thoroughly aware of the enormous disadvantage at which they play—thoroughly convinced the bank must win—yet they play!
The scene was new to Cecil, and affected him painfully, as it always does those who are not carried away by the passion of gaming; but he was there to play once, and he surmounted his disgust; inwardly vowing that whatever might be the fortune of that night, he would never repeat the experiment.
The room was singularly quiet, considering how many persons were assembled. The sounds of bottles being uncorked, the clatter of glasses, and the chink of money were distinctly audible; conversation being carried on for the most part in whispers.
Cecil played. Frank, trusting entirely to the good fortune which so proverbially favours beginners, abstained from giving him any advice. He played at random and lost. His five pounds were soon gone. Frank slipped the other two into his hand; they followed the others. As the last crown disappeared, Cecil saw a young man heap together a pile of notes and sovereigns; huddling them into his pocket, he called for some champagne, and having drunk it, departed. He came down stairs at the same moment with Frank and Cecil, in high spirits.
"That's what we ought to have done," said Frank.
"Why did you force me to play?" said Cecil, bitterly; like all weak men, throwing the blame of his own folly upon others.
"Who the devil would have supposed you could lose the first time?"
"Well—it is a bit of experience. Perhaps I have bought it cheap after all."
He walked home, however, as angry as if he were by no means so satisfied with the bargain; and Blanche, who was sitting up for him as usual, was surprised to find him so out of humour. He was sometimes tired when he came home, but always ready to talk freely with her, and recount the adventures of the day. That night he was taciturn, and gave evasive short replies to all her questions; till at last she saw that he was unwilling to talk, and left him in peace.
He was restless that night. It was long before he went to sleep; and when he did fall into a fitful doze, he was troubled by strange dreams of the gaming-table. Sometimes he was playing with a pile of notes before him; sometimes he had lost every shilling, and awoke in his despair—to find himself in bed.