I conscientiously told that fellow I held a second-class ticket, and if he could read, Royalty is so cheap in Calcutta that you can buy a whole night of it with sixteen cents, and the number on the outside of the car, and the price charged for it, is all the difference between Royalty and Plebeian in India—and Plebeians have the laugh on Royalty—they have always had it on them for that matter.
XXIX
THE ENGLISHMAN AND MARK TWAIN'S JOKE, "THAT'S HOW THEY WASH IN INDIA"
In my home town I was once asked to give a travel talk in a large stone church, the occasion being a rally for the Christian Endeavor Society.
It had been announced that there would be no charge for admission; furthermore, it had been thoroughly advertised that the young ladies of the church would furnish a delectable spread to the audience in the church parlors just as soon as I got through talking.
The town turned out en masse.
As the parson was leading me to the rostrum, the lights went out and there was Egyptian darkness.
After an anxious wait of five minutes, it being a hard stunt to get such a fine audience together in the classic, intellectual center in which I live, even with a chromo offer, the parson, fearing it would leave, made a little speech in the direction where he hoped the audience was—he couldn't see it—it was an act of faith.
The town turned out en masse to hear me talk