A Book Without a Title

by George Jean Nathan

SATIRE

The new battleship trembled in the ways, ready to glide into the sea.

The girl cracked a bottle of champagne over its bow and said in measured and serious tones: "I christen thee—'Kansas'!"

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LXVII

GLORY

The young private, dreaming dreams of valour and glory, awaited eagerly his chance.

The enemy was daily coming nearer, nearer, and the dreams of the young private grew vivid and rosier still.

One morning, before dawn, the General telegraphed the Lieutenant-General to telegraph the Brigadier-General to telegraph the Colonel to telegraph the Lieutenant-Colonel to telegraph the Major to heliograph the Captain to telephone the First-Lieutenant to telephone the Second-Lieutenant to signal the Sergeant to tell the Corporal to command the private to charge!