Ritter. These flowers were all paid for long before anybody saw that show. [There is a staccato tap at the front door-bell. Jenny is hurrying down the stairs with the smelling-salts.]
Mrs. Ritter. [Rising, and trying to fix herself up a bit] Well, that’s only your opinion. [She starts for the center-door.] This is very likely Nelly Fell. [Turning back to him as she nears the center-door] Now, don’t you say anything to her, remember! She likes you.
Mrs. Fell. [In the right hallway] No, I think I can manage, Theodore. [Jenny hands Mrs. Ritter the smelling-salts, at the center-door.]
Mrs. Ritter. Thanks, Jenny.
Jenny. You’re welcome. [She hurries out into the right hallway, and Mrs. Ritter comes forward to the chair below the piano, sniffing the salts. Ritter rises and saunters around and up to the left of the arm-chair.]
Mrs. Fell. You can close that door, if you will! Couldn’t wait for you, Jenny! [She rushes in from the right hallway.] I’m too much excited! [She plants herself in the center-door, holding aloft in her right hand a beautiful basket of tulips, and in her left, a huge bouquet of violets.] Well, here I am, with my frankincense and myrrh! [She gives an hysterical giggle and teeters forward towards Mrs. Ritter.] Oh, there you are, Frederick Ritter! We thought something had happened to you! Pauline, dear child, I’ve come to worship at your shrine. [She places the basket of tulips down on the floor to the left of Mrs. Ritter, then straightens up, regards Mrs. Ritter, giggles frantically, and looks over at Ritter.]
Mrs. Ritter. [Laughing wanly, and trying generally not to appear as though she’d been crying] You’ve been very sweet.
Mrs. Fell. Not half so sweet as you were on that stage tonight! [Speaking confidentially, and with great conviction] Dear child, you’re made! Absolutely made! [Turning to Ritter] Isn’t she, Frederick? [But he’s busy getting rid of some ashes in the fireplace, so she returns to Mrs. Ritter.] It’s one of those overnight things that one reads about! [She picks up the basket of tulips from the floor and teeters around above the table.] Dear me, look at this wilderness of flowers! [She sets the basket on the table.]
Mrs. Ritter. [Trying not to cry] Yes, yes, aren’t they beautiful! [She darts a look at Ritter.]
Mrs. Fell. [Rapturously] Not another word until I’ve kissed you! [She kisses her on the left side of the head.] Oh, you sweet child! [She shakes Mrs. Ritter by the shoulders.] what can I say to you! [Then she teeters to the middle of the room, addressing Ritter directly.] See here, young man! Why aren’t you just pelting your wife with these flowers? [He tries to hide his appreciation of the situation by turning away his head.] Answer me! [He bursts out laughing, and Nelly teeters back towards Mrs. Ritter.] My dear, the man is so pleased he can’t talk! [Ritter laughs a little more.] And if you were any other woman but his wife, Paula, he’d be sending you mash-notes! [Ritter begins to laugh again, and Nelly teeters towards him.] Oh, you can laugh all you like, Frederick Ritter, but you can’t fool Nelly Fell! [She comes back towards Mrs. Ritter, addressing her.] I’ve had three husbands,—I know their tricks. [She places her finger on Mrs. Ritter’s shoulder.] Pauline, dear child, you may be sure that that young man is proud of you tonight if he never was before. [Mrs. Ritter tries to laugh.] And when he gets you alone—[Mrs. Ritter’s attempt at laughter is instantly abandoned, and she gives a startled glance toward Ritter, who turns away to his left and goes up towards the mantelpiece.] Oh, when he gets you alone! [Mrs. Fell turns slowly and looks toward Ritter, with a roguish expression and a measured shaking of her finger at him.] He’s going to tell you you were the loveliest thing that ever stepped on a stage. If he hasn’t done so already. Have you, Frederick? [She looks at him with a mischievous eye.] Have you? [He laughs, at the irony of the situation. She crosses towards him.] Come on, ’fess up!—I know the position is difficult! [He laughs hard, and she laughs with him; then turns back to Mrs. Ritter. Jenny comes in from the right hallway.] You see, my dear, the man is so pleased he can’t talk! [She sees Jenny passing along the hallway and steps quickly up to the center-door.] Oh, Jenny dear! Will you take these violets out and put them in some water.