Dolby. Charley, my boy, your sister’s a perfect beauty.
Charles. Sit down, Dolby (Dolby brings chair up to table L. Charles brings one down from back; they sit R. and L.) I had hopes that you would come down here heart-whole; but I learn that you are already engaged in a love affair.
Dolby. Don’t mention it (Persis opens door, steps out, and listens). The most absurd thing; a little country-house flirtation with a lady old enough to be my mother.
Persis. The wretch!
Dolby. Unfortunately, one evening I lay upon my bed, smoking and reading, with my door open into the passage, on the farther side of which is located the room of Miss Persis Grievous. Well, I dropped off to sleep, the pipe dropped from my mouth, and I was awakened by the cry of “fire,” and a brisk shaking from my female friend across the passage. I had set fire to the bed, which was easily put out; not so the flame which had been kindled in the breast of my fair but aged deliverer.
Persis. The heartless scoundrel!
Dolby. From that time she has pursued me with a relentless love. I cannot escape her.
Charles. And you are engaged?
Dolby. Not exactly. Pegoty is willing, but Barkis is not; for, Charley, I am in love with a phantom.
Charles. Then you’d better give up the ghost, and make Persis happy.