John. Yes; you’re a pretty chap to set a lad’s head a whizzing—you are, Jarius Jordan. You’ve been everything by turn, and nothing long.
Jarius. Jes’ so, John, jes so. But I calkilate that with every turn I’ve give myself a h’ist in the world, anyhow. I’ve peddled tin ware, wooden ware, hardware, everywhere. I’ve swapped horses, traded in cattle, druv hogs, and raised poultry. I’ve invented cotton gins, reapers, and mowers, cider presses and match safes, travelled with pictures, poetry books, stationery, and Bibles. I’ve dug gold, mined copper, and bored ile; fit Ingins, Mexicans, and sesesh; kept school, led a choir, taught singing-school, been a deacon in regular standing. I’ve been a printer, a book-binder, a counter-jumper, and an insurance agent, and other things too numerous to mention. There’s three things I never took a hand in—swearin’, lyin’, and drinkin’. I’ve got a clean conscience and a bank-book full of figgers. I despise meanness, hate misers, and am down on rascality like all possessed. So, you see, John, with all my rolling, I’ve gathered some moss, and am none the wuss for it.
Will. No, indeed. There’s not a better fellow living than Jarius Jordan.
Jarius. O, git eout! Don’t yeou go to tootin’ the horn.
Ned. It’s the truth. ’Twould have been a hard winter for widow Black, but for the kind care Jarius Jordan bestowed upon her.
Jarius. Sho! Don’t you tell tales out of school, young feller.
Will. Then there’s old Pearson. Who’d have kept him out of the poorhouse, when he broke his leg, if Jarius Jordan hadn’t stepped in, housed him all winter, and paid the doctor’s bill?
Jarius. O, go along! D’ye want to spile my complexion? Now, John, you just give Will a chance. You’ll never regret it.
John. I tell you, what’s good enough for the old man is good enough for the boy. I’ll never give my consent to his going into the city—never. I’m not going to send my boy into that sink of iniquity, to be overcome by temptation. So you jest shut up, Jarius. I’ve got an awful temper, and if you rile me, I won’t answer for the consequences.