Dr. A. No, that would be betraying profound secrecy.
Dennis. Sacrecy, is it? Be jabers, it's no sacret that she's gone. Ye've a sthrong lift in the profession, and I've a mind to engage ye's to docther the nine childer, if ye'll make the fays conform to the size uv thim.
Enter Abigail, L.
Abigail. And has she gone? and am I bereft of her autograph? O, cruel doctor! to so basely deceive a lone orphan—
Dr. A. Now don't! Say no more about it, my dear miss—madam. It was a mistake. If you will pardon me, I will endeavor to obtain for you the autograph of the king of the Cannibal Islands, in red ink, made from the blood of a missionary.
Abigail. Will you? O, then I forgive you, with all my heart.
Dr. A. (to audience). Ladies and gentlemen, you have witnessed the success of Dr. Aconite during the last half hour in obtaining patients. It may possibly occur to you that they have been obtained by false pretences. But am I to blame? Maggie, come here. (Maggie comes down L. of Dr. Aconite.) I am seeking patients, and want a good recommendation. What can you say for me?
Maggie. Sure, ye's the illigant docther, so ye are, an' it's a plisure to be sick wid the chance of being cured or kilt by the loikes uv ye's.
Dr. A. You hear what she says. Can I hope for your support? Will you become my regular patients? If you will, it shall be my endeavor to serve you well; and you know I can bring a high recommendation from no less a personage than her grace, "The Duchess of Dublin."
Situations.
R.Lucy.Dr. Aconite.L.
Annie.Maggie.
Frank.Abigail.
Oldbuck.Sharpset.
Dennis.Plumpface.
CURTAIN.