He wuz mizzable, he wuz,—he must have boarded out and eat hash!
But when Eve come, the scene changed. Her gentle hand soothed his achin’ brow when he come in from a hard day’s work. She hed his house in order; she hed his slippers and dressin’ gown ready, and after tea he smoked his meerschaum in peace.
Men, cruel, hard-hearted men, assert that Eve wuz the cause of his expulsion from Eden—that she plucked the apple and give him half; oh, my sisters, it’s true, it’s too true, but what uv it?
It proves fustly, her goodness. Had Adam plucked the apple, if it had been a good one, he’d never a thought of his wife at home, but would have gobbled it down himself, and perhaps have taken her the core.
Eve, angel that we all are, thought of him and went halvers with him.
Secondly, it wuz the means of good anyhow. It introduced death into the world, which separated ’em while they still hed love for each other.
I appeal to the sterner sex present to-night. S’posin’ all of you had been fortunate enough to win such virgin souls as me, could you endure charms like mine for an eternity. If I had a husband, I know he’d bless Eve for introducin’ death into the world.
Woman is man’s equal, but is she occupyin’ her true speer? Alas, not! We are deprived of the ballot, we ain’t allowed to make stump speeches, or take part in politics. Is it right? How many men vote who know what they are votin’ for?
I demand the ballot. I want to take part in torchlight processions!
I want to demonstrate my fitness for governing by coming home elevated on election nights. I demand the right of going to Congress. I want to assume that speer which nachur fitted me for equally with man, but from which masculine jealousy has thus far excluded me.