“But it’s no use sometimes.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because you—I mean I—can’t feel good, or care about it at all.”
“But is that any ground for saying that it is no use—that he does not heed you? that he disregards the look cast up to him? that, till the heart goes with the will, he who made himself strong to be the helper of the weak, who pities most those who are most destitute—and who so destitute as those who do not love what they want to love—except, indeed, those who don’t want to love?—that, till you are well on towards all right by earnestly seeking it, he won’t help you? You are to judge him from yourself, are you?—forgetting that all the misery in you is just because you have not got his grand presence with you?”
I spoke so earnestly as to be somewhat incoherent in words. But my reader will understand. Wynnie was silent. Connie, as if partly to help her sister, followed on the same side.
“I don’t know exactly how to say what I mean, papa, but I wish I could get this lovely afternoon, all full of sunshine and blue, into unity with all that you teach us about Jesus Christ. I wish this beautiful day came in with my thought of him, like the frame—gold and red and blue—that you have to that picture of him at home. Why doesn’t it?”
“Just because you have not enough of faith in him, my dear. You do not know him well enough yet. You do not yet believe that he means you all gladness, heartily, honestly, thoroughly.”
“And no suffering, papa?”
“I did not say that, my dear. There you are on your couch and can’t move. But he does mean you such gladness, such a full sunny air and blue sea of blessedness that this suffering shall count for little in it; nay more, shall be taken in for part, and, like the rocks that interfere with the roll of the sea, flash out the white that glorifies and intensifies the whole—to pass away by and by, I trust, none the less. What a chance you have, my Connie, of believing in him, of offering upon his altar!”
“But,” said my wife, “are not these feelings in a great measure dependent upon the state of one’s health? I find it so different when the sunshine is inside me as well as outside me.”