“Cert’nly, sir, it goes again the grain,” said Mr Stiff; “but what am I to do, Mr Redgrave, sir? Here’s the cheque again from your ’pa, and there’s the receipt, all as regular as the month comes round, which is more than can be said of some people with titles and who calls themselves officers. You see, you know, sir, I rent the whole of this upper of the people who has the shop, and I’m bound not to do nothing as shall annoy them in their business.”
“Bother!” growled Lionel, fidgeting about, while Mr Stiff went on—
“I wouldn’t part with you, sir, only you see, if so be I don’t, why, they’ll part with me.”
“But it’s a nuisance, man, and I should have to look out for fresh chambers,” said Lionel; “and the place suits me. I don’t want to go.”
“Well, you see, sir, that’s where we agree. But you see, things can’t go on like this. One dog we didn’t like, but we’d say nothing about it, though he don’t do no good to the cushins; but look there, sir—there’s your bull-tarrier on the couch—your Skye wiry on the heasy-chair—your spannel under the table, as vicious as stinging nettles; and them two pugs on the hearthrug.”
Lionel made a hasty gesture.
“Can’t help it, sir; it ain’t no good for you to be cross; I must speak. Then there’s the Cunnle as has the second floor—Cunnle Mart’nitt, sir—says if that there parrot don’t go, he will; for it’s a shrieking and swearing from morning to night. Not as I must say as ever I did hear it say anything worse than ‘Corpus backus,’ which may be wickedness in Greek or some other furren tongue; like an old master of mine who was a major in the Indian army, and came back eat up with curry, and bad liver—yellow as one of his own guineas, sir. Well, he’d swear at me, sir, hawful I do believe; but then as it was all in Hindoo, and I never understood a word about what it meant, it never used to fidget me a bit more than if it was all blessings. But parrots will swear, sir, I know; for I’ve heard two in a cage go on at one another worse than—”
“Do you want me to set to and swear at you, Stiff?” said Lionel.
“No, sir, as you’d be too much of a gentleman, I’m sure.”
“Pish!” ejaculated Lionel.