I went into the tent, just as a low distant cry told of the proximity of a tiger somewhere on the border of the forest.
I was vexed with myself, for my conduct was, I felt, so transparent that my guardian must be sure to see that I was meditating escape.
“How carefully he guards me!” I thought, as I threw myself on my couch. “No wonder the bearer of the letter has not been here again.”
And there I lay thinking of my position—of the rajah’s offer, and, tempting as it seemed, the more I thought, the more I felt how impossible it was to turn from my duty as an English officer, to become the servant and aide of one of our deadliest enemies.
“It can’t be,” I muttered. “I would sooner die.”
And, as I said this, I thought of how likely it would be that this would be my fate; for, under the smooth velvety ways of the rajah, I could see that there were sharp feline claws, and that, however great his liking for me might be if I yielded and acted as he wished, there was all the fierceness of the Eastern semi-savage, ready to spring out with volcanic fury if I persisted in thwarting him to the end.
I could not help pitying myself as I lay there, for I was growing stronger again, and that mounting of the horse had, short as the enjoyment was, revived in me all my love of exciting action; and was I—so young as I was—a mere boy, to give up all this when forced, as it were, by circumstances? I had but to say “yes,” and become the greatest man in the rajah’s domains.
“But I can’t do it. I won’t do it,” I said passionately. “I was not trained in a military school by brave, honourable gentlemen, to give up and become a renegade. And I will not believe, either, that England is so beaten that the native rajahs are going to have all their own way.”
Somehow, in spite of my desperate position, fully expecting that, at my next refusal, the rajah would flash out and try force to bring me to his way, I felt after my calm, quiet, nightly prayer, out there in the silence of that forest, more at rest and full of hope.
“Things generally mend when they come to the worst,” I said, with a sigh; and now, giving up all expectation of any visitor making his way to my couch that night, I lay listening to the faint calling of the huge cat that was prowling about, gazing the while at my shaded lamp, round which quite a dozen moths were circling, and finally dropped off to sleep.