Roberts gazed from his sheltering curtain as far as his eyes could sweep to left and round to right, going over and over again the arc of the circle formed by his vision where he had plainly seen movement going on and people creeping amidst the rich growth of the huge saccharine grass; but all was motionless and still, and the silence seemed to grow more and more awful as he watched.
“Oh,” he groaned to himself, “why didn’t I make a dash for it and follow old Murray without saying a word? It wouldn’t have been half so bad as this, and even if it had been a more risky task—no, it couldn’t have been more risky than this—I could have borne it better. Wonder where he is, and whether he would have felt as bad as I do now if he had had my job. Ugh! It’s horribly still, and if old Anderson doesn’t come soon I shall make some excuse and go to him.”
“Yes,” he continued, “Franky would have felt just as bad as I do. He must have done. No one could help it. No man could stand this terrible silence and the sensation that a shot was coming at him. No man could bear it—no man. Oh, I say, doesn’t it seem bumptious for one to think of himself as a man? Well, why shouldn’t I be? It’s man’s work, at all events. Oh, I can’t stand it. I must make some excuse. I’ll ask Mr Anderson to come and see if he doesn’t think there is some one crawling along there to the right. No, I won’t—I can’t—I must master it. It’s sheer cowardice! And if it is,” he added, after a few moments’ pause, “it’s Nature’s fault for making a fellow like this. I don’t want to be a coward; I want to be as brave as brave—well, as brave as Murray is. I wouldn’t care if I was just as full of pluck as he is. Anyhow I won’t be a sham and go and pretend that some one is coming. I could never look him in the eyes again for fancying that he was reading me through and through. And he would—I’m sure he would.”
“Oh!” ejaculated the lad excitedly, for just then one of the floor-boards gave out a sharp crack.
“Hallo!” said the familiar voice of the lieutenant. “Did I startle you, Roberts?”
“Something of the kind, sir,” said the lad, breathing hard. “I didn’t hear you come.”
“No, I suppose not. Seen anything?”
“No, sir. All is as still as if there wasn’t a soul for miles, and I felt at times as if I must come and ask you if you could hear anything.”
“Ah, this silence is very trying, Roberts, my lad,” said the lieutenant. “The men are all suffering from it and feeling as if they would give anything to be watching together.”
“They feel like that, sir?” cried the lad eagerly.