“‘Noo-lade egg, sir, noo milk, lump o’ sugar, and half a glass o’ sherry, well lathered up with a swizzle-stick.’

“‘Hah!’ he says, ‘is there any more?’

“‘No, sir,’ I says; ‘not this morning. Now then, sir,’ I says; ‘if you please?’ And then I takes off his belts and his regimentals, gets him on the couch, and I rubs him and cracks him.”

“You did what?” cried Dick.

“Massages him, sir; and him a-staring at me all the time. After that I shampoos and washes him, trims the pyntes off his hair, waxes his starshers, gives him a cigarette, and then I rejoices his heart.”

“How?” said Dick, laughing.

“By telling on him the truth, sir.”

“What truth?”

“I stood back and looked at him, and I says to him: ‘There, sir; don’t you feel like a new man?’

“Ah, yes! he says, with one o’ those big mellingcholly sighs of his’n, which makes me think he’s got something on his mind.