'To-morrow. This letter was written last night, so I have to go to see him to-day, this afternoon, three o'clock, I shall have to go up after lunch by the two o'clock train. That will get me there by three…. I wonder if he is really dying? If I were to go and see him and he were to recover it would be like beginning it over again…. But I don't know why every base thought and calculation enter my head. I don't know why such thoughts should come into my head, I don't know why they do come, I don't call them nor do their promptings affect me. I am going to see him because I was once very fond of him, because I caused him, through no fault of mine, a great deal of suffering—because it appears that he's dying for love of me. I know he'd like to see me before he dies, that's why I am going, and yet horrid thoughts will come into my head; to hear me thinking, any one would imagine it was only on account of my own vanity that I wanted to see him, whereas it is quite the contrary. As a rule I hate sick people, and I'm sure it is most disagreeable to me to meet that woman.'
The two o'clock train took her to town, a hansom from Victoria to the studio; she dismissed the hansom at the corner and walked up the street thinking of the woman who would open the door to her. There was something about the woman she didn't like. But it didn't matter; she would be shown in at once, and of course left alone with Ralph… Supposing the woman were to sit there all the while. But it was too late now, she had knocked.
'I've come to see Mr. Hoskin.' Feeling that her speech was too abrupt she added, 'I hope he is better to-day.'
'Yes, I'm thankful to say he's a little better.'
Mildred stopped in the passage, and Ellen said:
'Mr. Hoskin isn't in his bedroom. We've put him into the studio.'
'I hope she doesn't think that I've been in his bedroom,' thought Mildred. Ralph lay in a small iron bed, hardly more than a foot from the floor, and his large features, wasted by illness, seemed larger than ever. But a glow appeared in his dying eyes at the sight of Mildred. Ellen placed a chair by his bedside and said:
'I will go out for a short walk. I shan't be away more than half an hour.'
Their eyes said, 'We shall be alone for half an hour,' and she took the thin hand he extended to her.
'Oh, Ralph, I'm sorry to find you ill…. But you're better to-day, aren't you?'