September 17. This morning the Lord, in addition to all His other mercies, has given us a little girl, who, with her mother, are doing well.
September 21. On account of the birth of our little one, and brother Craik's intended marriage, it is needful that we change our lodgings, as they will now be too small for us, because we shall want one room more. Just when we were thinking about this, the house belonging to Gideon chapel, which had been let for three years, was unexpectedly given up by the tenant, and it was now offered to us by the church. We said we could not think of going into it, as we had no furniture, and no money to buy any. The brother who proposed our going into that house, however, replied that the brethren would gladly furnish it for us, to which we objected, fearing it would burthen them. When, however, the matter was repeatedly mentioned, and when it was particularly expressed that it would be a pleasure to the brethren to furnish the house, we began to consider the subject in prayer, and we saw no scriptural objection to accept this kindness, provided the furniture was very plain. This was promised. The house was furnished, yet the love of the brethren had done it more expensively than we wished it.
September 23. Today an individual desired publicly to return thanks to the Lord, for having been supported under the loss of a child, mother, brother, and wife, in the cholera, within one month.
September 25. Last night brother Craik and I were called out of bed to a poor woman ill in the cholera. She was suffering intensely. We never saw a case so distressing. We could hardly say any thing to her on account of her loud cries. I felt as if the cholera was coming upon me. We commended ourselves into the hands of the Lord when we came home, and He mercifully preserved us. The poor woman died today.
Oct. 1. A meeting for inquirers this afternoon from two to five. Many more are convinced of sin through brother Craik's preaching than my own. This circumstance led me to inquire into the reasons, which are probably these:—1. That brother Craik is more spiritually minded than I am. 2. That he prays more earnestly for the conversion of sinners than I do. 3. That he more frequently addresses sinners, as such, in his public ministrations, than I do.—This led me to more frequent and earnest prayer for the conversion of sinners, and to address them more frequently as such. The latter had never been intentionally left undone, but it had not been so frequently brought to my mind as to that of brother Craik. Since then, the cases in which it has pleased the Lord to use me as an instrument of conversion have been quite as many as those in which brother Craik has been used. May the Lord be pleased to use this as a means to lead any of His servants, who may not have acted according to these two last points, to seek to do so, and may He graciously enable me to do so more abundantly!
October 3. This day we set apart as a day of thanksgiving, the cholera having decreased. Oct. 5. Prayer meeting this morning as usual. The cholera is very much decreasing, and the number at our morning prayer meetings likewise.—Hundreds of people were stirred up at that time, but many of them, when the judgment of God had passed away, cared no longer about their souls. Yet a goodly number, who were first led through the instrumentality of the cholera to seek the Lord, are now breaking bread with us, and are walking in the fear of the Lord. How merciful in its results has this heavy judgment been to many!
January 4, 1833. This morning we received letters from Bagdad. The missionary brethren there invite brother Craik and me to come and join them in their labours. The invitation was accompanied by drafts to the amount of £200., for our traveling expenses. What wilt Thou have me to do, gracious Lord? I do not know what may be the Lord's mind. There are points which ought to be much considered and prayed over: There are German villages not very far from Bagdad, where I might labour; upon our going, that of certain other individuals may depend; the brethren at Bagdad are of one mind respecting our going out; good may be done on the way; the going out without any visible support from a society, simply trusting in the Lord for the supply of our temporal wants, would be a testimony for Him; I have had for years a feeling as if one day I should go out as a missionary to the heathen or Mahomedans; and lastly, the hands of the brethren at Bagdad may be strengthened; these are the points, which must appear of no sufficient weight in comparison with the importance of our work here, before I can determine not to go.
January 5. I considered with brother Craik about going to Bagdad. We see nothing clearly. If the Lord will have me to go, here I am. January 7. I spent again some time in prayer, respecting our going to Bagdad, and examined more fully into it. January 8. I had from half-past five till eight this morning to myself in prayer and reading the Word. I prayed then, and repeatedly besides this day, respecting our going to Bagdad. I wrote also a letter to some believers at and near Barnstaple, to ask their prayers concerning this matter. I do not see more clearly than I did before. January 9. I again asked the Lord concerning Bagdad, but see nothing clearly respecting it. I told the Lord I should stay at my post, unless He Himself should most evidently take me away, and I did not feel afterwards my remaining here to be against His will. January 14. I feel more and more satisfied that it is not of the Lord that I should go to Bagdad. January 19. For some days past I have been reading brother Groves' journal of his residence at Bagdad, both for the sake of information respecting his position there, and also, if it please the Lord, that He may use this as a means to show me clearly wether I should go or stay. Blessed be His name that I have no desire of my own in this matter! [Forty-seven years have since passed away, and I think I may say this day still, according to the best of my knowledge, I had no desire of my own in this matter; but I never saw it to be the Lord's will to leave the work which He Himself had so evidently given me.]
February 9. I read a part of Franke's life. The Lord graciously help me to follow him, as far as he followed Christ. The greater part of the Lord's people whom we know in Bristol are poor, and if the Lord were to give us grace to live more as this dear man of God did, we might draw much more than we have as yet done out of our Heavenly Father's bank, for our poor brethren and sisters.
May 27. Today the two churches, assembling at Gideon and Bethesda, met together at tea.—These meetings we have often repeated, and found them profitable on several accounts. 1. They give a testimony to the world of the love of the brethren, by rich and poor meeting thus together to partake of a meal. 2. Such meetings may be instrumental in uniting the saints more and more together. 3. They give us a sweet foretaste of our meeting together at the marriage supper of the Lamb.—At these meetings we pray and sing together, and any brother has an opportunity to speak what may tend to the edification of the rest.