Up to this day, January 25, 1851, I have not spoken to one human being about it. As yet even my dear wife knows not about it. I purpose to keep the matter still for some time entirely to myself, dealing with God alone about it, in order that no outward excitement may be in the least degree a stimulus to me. I still pray to be kept from mistake and delusion in this thing, not that I think I am mistaken or deluded, quite the reverse; but yet I would distrust myself and cling to God, to be kept from mistakes and delusions.
January 31st. For several weeks past I have had no doubt that the Lord would have me to serve Him in the erection and fitting up of another Orphan-House for seven hundred Orphans, and I am quite decided on doing so, with His help, and I am now quiet about it, not because I have the least misgiving in my own mind, but because I know that it is most suitable that I should still for some time continue to deal quietly with God alone about it.
March 5th. Nearly five weeks have passed away since I wrote the last paragraph, and my mind has not been once, during this time, even for a moment, in uncertainty as to what I ought to do. It is now about fifteen weeks since I have been especially praying about this subject, and three months since. I began first to write on the subject in my journal, and about ten weeks since I have had any doubt as to what is the will of the Lord concerning this service. I believe that, altogether unworthy though I am of this great honour, He will condescend to use me further and more extensively than before in caring for destitute children who are bereaved of both parents. And this I purpose to do.
April 5th. Another month has passed away, and my mind is just in the same state as it was when I wrote in my journal on the subject on March 5th.
May 5th. One more month has passed away, and still my mind remains quietly assured that, utterly unworthy though I am to be allowed to go forward in this work, and great though the difficulties are, which must be overcome, yet that it is the will of God I should serve Him in this way. It is now this day five months since I first wrote on this subject in my journal, and longer even than that since it has been before rue, during which time I have day by day prayed concerning this matter.
May 24th. From the time that I began to write down the exercises of my mind on Dec. 5th, 1850, till this day, ninety-two more Orphans have been applied for, and seventy-eight were already waiting for admission before. But this number increases rapidly as the work becomes more and more known.
On the ground of what has been recorded above, I purpose to go forward in this service, and to seek to build, to the praise and honour of the living God, another Orphan-House, large enough to accommodate seven hundred Orphans.
When I published these exercises of my mind, and made known my purpose respecting the intended Orphan-House for 700 Orphans, in the Twelfth Report of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, the following particulars were added to what has been stated.
1. All this time, though now six months have elapsed since. I first began to be exercised about this matter, I have never once been led to ask the Lord for means for this work, but have only continued day by day to seek guidance from Him as to whether I should undertake it or not.
2. The means requisite, to accomplish the building and fitting up of a house, which shall be really suitable for my intended purposes, though the building be quite simple, cannot be less than Thirty-Five Thousand Pounds, including fifteen or twenty acres of land round the building for cultivation by the spade, in order to obtain out of our own grounds all the vegetables, which are so important to the health of the children.