Jan. 17, 1854. From S. R. and E. R., two poor factory girls, near Stroud, 1s. 7d. This day I also received the promise that there should be paid to me, for the work of the Lord in my hands, £5,207, to be disposed of as I might consider best.
The whole amount received for the new Orphan House, during the year closing May 26, 1854, was £5,285, 17s. 5d., which made the total of £17,816, 19s. 5¼d. in hand on May 26, 1854.
During this year the current expenses for the various objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad amounted to £7,507, 0s. 11½d., being £471, 8s. 11d. more than during any previous year; yet the Lord not only enabled me to meet them all, but to add the sum of £5,285, 7s. 5d. to the building fund.
There is yet a large sum required before I shall be enabled to build another house for 700 orphans; nor have I now, any more than at the first, any natural prospect of obtaining what is yet needed; but my hope is in the living God. When I came to the conclusion that it was the will of God that I should build another Orphan House, I had not only no natural prospect of obtaining the £35,000 which would be needed for this object, but also I had no natural prospect of being able to provide for the necessities of the three hundred orphans already under my care. Three years have elapsed since then, and I have had all I needed for them, amounting to about £10,500; and £17,816, 19s. 5¼d. I have received for the building fund. May I not well trust in the Lord for what is yet needed for the building fund? By his grace I will do so, and delight in doing so; for I know that at last all my prayers will be turned into praises concerning this part of the service.
There is one point which is particularly an encouragement to me to go on waiting upon the Lord for the remainder of the means which are required, viz: applications for the admission of orphans continue to be made. On May 26, 1853, there were 480 orphans waiting for admission. Since then 181 more have been applied for, making in all 661. These children are from three months old and upwards, and all bereaved of both parents by death.
During the year now under review I received the following donation for the missionary laborers, under circumstances of peculiar interest.
On Aug. 9, 1853, I received a letter from a Christian brother, accompanied with an order for eighty-eight pounds two shillings sixpence on his bankers, of which three pounds two shillings sixpence were the proceeds of an orphan box in a meeting-place of believers, and eighty-five pounds from a poor widow who had sold her little house, being all her property, and who had put ninety pounds, the total amount of what she had received, into that orphan box two months before, on June 9, 1853. In this box the money had been for some time, without its being known, till the orphan box was opened, and the ninety pounds with a few lines without name were found in it. As, however, the fact of her intending to sell the little house, and her intention of sending me the money for the Lord’s work, had been known to the brother who sent me the money, he did not feel free to send it to me without remonstrating with her through two brethren, whom he sent with the money, offering it again to her; for he knew her to be very poor, and feared that this might be an act of excitement, and therefore be regretted afterwards. These brethren could not prevail on her to receive back the money, but they did persuade her to receive back five pounds of the amount, and then the brother referred to felt no longer free to keep the money from me, and hence sent me the eighty-five pounds.
On the receipt of this, I wrote at once to the poor godly widow, offering her the travelling expenses for coming to Bristol, that I might have personal intercourse with her; for I feared lest this should be an act of excitement, and the more so, as she had received back five pounds of the sum. This sister in the Lord, a widow of about sixty years of age, came to Bristol, and told me in all simplicity how that ten years before, in the year 1843, she had purposed that if ever she should come into the possession of the little house in which she lived with her husband, she would sell it, and give the proceeds of it to the Lord. About five years afterwards her husband died, and she, having no children, nor any one having particular claim upon her, then sought to dispose of her little property, as had been her mind all those years before. However, one difficulty after another prevented her being able to effect a sale. At last she felt in particular difficulty on account of her inability to pay the yearly ground-rent of the little house and garden, and she asked the Lord to enable her to sell the property, in order that she might be able to carry out her desire which she had had for ten years, to give to him the proceeds of this her possession. He now helped her. The house was sold, the money paid, and she put the whole ninety pounds into the orphan box for me, being assured that the Lord would direct me how best the money might be used for him. I still questioned her again and again, to find out whether it was not excitement which had led her to act as she had done; but I not only saw that her mind had been fully decided about this act for ten years before, but that she also was able to answer from the word of God all the objections which I purposely made, in order to probe her, whether she had intelligently and from right motives acted in what she had done. At last I was fully satisfied that it was not from impulse, nor under excitement, that she had given the money. I next stated to her something like this: “You are poor, and you are about sixty years old, therefore decreasing in strength, and may you not therefore keep this money for yourself?” Her reply was, as nearly as I remember, something like this: “God has always provided for me, and I have no doubt he will do so in future also. I am able to work and to earn my bread as well as others, and am willing to work as a nurse, or in any other way.” What could I say against this? This is just what a child of God would say, and should say. But the greatest of all the difficulties to the accepting of the eighty-five pounds remained in my mind, and I state it, as I relate the whole for the profit of the reader. It was this. The house had been sold for ninety pounds. The whole amount had been put into the box, but, on the persuasion of those two brethren who were requested to remonstrate with this widow, she had been induced to take back five pounds out of the ninety pounds. I therefore said to myself, might she not be willing, after a time, to take back the whole ninety pounds; how, therefore, can I feel happy in accepting this money? On this account I particularly laid stress upon this point, and told her that I feared she might regret her act altogether after some time, as she had taken back this five pounds. I now learned the circumstances under which she had been induced to take back this five pounds.
The two brethren who had called on her for the purpose of pointing out to her the propriety of receiving back again the ninety pounds, or part of it, told her that Barnabas sold his land, but afterwards lived with others on that which he and others had thrown into the common stock, and that, therefore, she might receive at least part of the ninety pounds back again, if she would not take the whole. She then said to herself that, “as a child of God, she might take the children’s portion,” and, as she had given to God this ninety pounds, she might receive five pounds back again. She told me that she considered the brethren had shown her from the Holy Scriptures what she might do, and therefore she had taken this five pounds. I did not myself agree with the judgment of those brethren who had said this (as there is no evidence that Barnabas ever was supported out of the common stock, the proceeds of the sale of houses and lands, out of which the poor were supported); but I purposely said nothing to the widow, lest she should at once be induced to give me this five pounds also. She had, however, this five pounds untouched, and showed it to me; and before she left she would make me take one pound of it for the benefit of the orphans, which I did not refuse, as I had no intention of keeping the eighty-five pounds. She also gave me a sixpence for the orphans, which some one had given her for herself, a few days before.
I now asked her, as this matter concerning the retaining of the five pounds was satisfactorily explained, as far as it respected her own state of heart, what she wished me to do with the money, in case I saw it right to keep it. Her reply was that she would leave that with me, that God would direct me concerning it; but that, if she said anything at all about it, she should most like it to be used for the support of brethren who labor in the word without any salary, and who hazard their lives for the name of Christ. She wished me to have a part of the money; but this I flatly refused, lest I should be evil spoken of in this matter. I then offered to pay her travelling expenses, as she had come to me, which she would not accept, as she did not stand in need of it. In conclusion, I told her that I would now further pray respecting this matter, and consider what to do concerning it. I then prayed with this dear, godly woman, commended her to God, separated from her, and have not seen her since.