LEANING ON JESUS.
1830-1832.
A DOOR OPENED—TOKENS FOR GOOD—TRUST EXERCISED IN THE STUDY AND MINISTRY OF THE WORD—THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT—TRUSTING IN GOD FOR DAILY BREAD—BLESSEDNESS OF WAITING UPON THE LORD—“OWE NO MAN”—“ACCORDING TO YOUR FAITH BE IT UNTO YOU”—THE GIFT OF FAITH, AND THE GRACE OF FAITH.
After I had preached about three weeks at Exmouth and its neighborhood, I went to Teignmouth, with the intention of staying there ten days, to preach the word among the brethren with whom I had become acquainted during the previous summer, and to tell them of the Lord’s goodness to me. In the evening, Monday, I preached for Brother Craik, at Shaldon, in the presence of three ministers, none of whom liked the sermon; yet it pleased God, through it, to bring to the knowledge of his dear Son a young woman. How differently does the Lord judge from man! Here was a particular opportunity for the Lord to get glory to himself. A foreigner was the preacher, with great natural obstacles in the way, for he was not able to speak English with fluency; but he had a desire to serve God, and was by this time also brought into such a state of heart as to desire that God alone should have the glory, if any good were done through his instrumentality.
On Tuesday evening, I preached at Ebenezer Chapel, Teignmouth, the same chapel at the opening of which I became acquainted with the brother whom the Lord had afterwards used as an instrument of benefiting me so much.
During the week ensuing, Mr. M. preached almost daily at the same place, a blessing attending his labors.
By this time, the request that I might stay at Teignmouth, and be the minister of the above chapel, had been repeatedly expressed by an increasing number of the brethren; but others were decidedly against my remaining there. This opposition was instrumental in settling it in my mind that I should stay for a while, at least until I was formally rejected.
I preached again three times on the Lord’s day, none saying we wish you not to preach, though many of the hearers did not hear with enjoyment. Some of them left, and never returned; some left, but returned after a while. Others came to the chapel who had not been in the habit of attending there previous to my coming. There was a great stir, a spirit of inquiry, and a searching of the Scriptures, whether these things were so. And, what is more than all, God set his seal upon the work, in converting sinners. Twelve weeks I stood in this same position, whilst the Lord graciously supplied my temporal wants, through two brethren, unasked for. After this time, the whole little church, eighteen in number, unanimously gave me an invitation to become their pastor. They offered to supply my temporal wants by giving me fifty-five pounds a year, which sum was afterwards somewhat increased, on account of the increase of the church.
That which I now considered the best mode of preparation for the public ministry of the word, no longer adopted from necessity, on account of want of time, but from deep conviction, and from the experience of God’s blessing upon it, both as it regards my own enjoyment, the benefit of the saints, and the conversion of sinners, is as follows: First, I do not presume to know myself what is best for the hearers, and I therefore ask the Lord, in the first place, that he would graciously be pleased to teach me on what subject I shall speak, or what portion of his word I shall expound. Now, sometimes it happens that, previous to my asking him, a subject or passage has been in my mind, on which it has appeared well for me to speak. In that case, I ask the Lord whether I should speak on this subject or passage. If, after prayer, I feel persuaded that I should, I fix upon it, yet so that I would desire to leave myself open to the Lord to change it if he please. Frequently, however, it occurs that I have no text or subject in my mind, before I give myself to prayer for the sake of ascertaining the Lord’s will concerning it. In this case, I wait some time on my knees for an answer, trying to listen to the voice of the Spirit to direct me. If, then, a passage or subject, whilst I am on my knees, or after I have finished praying for a text, is brought to my mind, I again ask the Lord, and that sometimes repeatedly, especially if, humanly speaking, the subject or text should be a peculiar one, whether it be his will that I should speak on such a subject or passage. If, after prayer, my mind is peaceful about it, I take this to be the text, but still desire to leave myself open to the Lord for direction, should he please to alter it, or should I have been mistaken. Frequently, also, in the third place, it happens that I not only have no text nor subject on my mind previous to my praying for guidance in this matter, but also I do not obtain one after once, or twice, or more times praying about it. I used formerly at times to be much perplexed when this was the case, but, for more than twenty years, it has pleased the Lord, in general at least, to keep me in peace about it. What I do is, to go on with my regular reading of the Scriptures, where I left off the last time, praying (whilst I read) for a text, now and then also laying aside my Bible for prayer, till I get one. Thus it has happened that I have had to read five, ten, yea, twenty chapters, before it has pleased the Lord to give me a text; yea, many times I have even had to go to the place of meeting without one, and obtained it, perhaps, only a few minutes before I was going to speak; but I have never lacked the Lord’s assistance at the time of preaching, provided I had earnestly sought it in private. The preacher cannot know the particular state of the various individuals who compose the congregation, nor what they require, but the Lord knows it; and if the preacher renounces his own wisdom, he will be assisted by the Lord; but if he will choose in his own wisdom, then let him not be surprised if he should see little benefit result from his labors.
Before I leave this part of the subject, I would just observe one temptation concerning the choice of a text. We may see a subject to be so very full that it may strike us it would do for some other occasion. For instance, sometimes a text brought to one’s mind for a week-evening meeting may appear more suitable for the Lord’s day, because then there would be a greater number of hearers present. Now, in the first place, we do not know whether the Lord ever will allow us to preach on another Lord’s day; and, in the second place, we know not whether that very subject may not be especially suitable for some or many individuals present just that week-evening. Thus I was once tempted, after I had been a short time at Teignmouth, to reserve a subject which had been just opened to me for the next Lord’s day. But being able, by the grace of God, to overcome the temptation by the above reasons, and preaching about it at once, it pleased the Lord to bless it to the conversion of a sinner, and that, too, an individual who meant to come but that once more to the chapel, and to whose case the subject was most remarkably suited.