At the time when this letter came we were indeed in need. Nevertheless, I considered that, as I have hitherto acted (i. e. telling the Lord alone about our need), I ought to continue to do, as otherwise the principal object of the work, to be a help to the saints generally, by seeking to lead them to increased dependence upon God alone, through this Institution, would be frustrated. I answered therefore the letter in substance as follows:—
“Whilst I thank you for your love, and whilst I agree with you, that, in general, there is a difference between asking for money and answering when asked, nevertheless in our case I feel not at liberty to speak about the state of our funds, as the primary object of the work in my hands is to lead those who are weak in faith to see that there is reality in dealing with God alone.”
After having sent off the answer, I was again and again led to pray to the Lord in this way: “Lord, thou knowest that for thy sake I did not tell this brother about our need. Now, Lord, show afresh that there is reality in speaking to thee only about our need, and speak therefore to this brother, so that he may help us.”
To-day, in answer to this my request, this brother sent one hundred pounds. Thus I have means for establishing the infant school, and for ordering more Bibles. Also the orphans are again supplied for a week; for when the money came in, there was not one penny in hand for them.
April 7. This evening I received information from my little half brother that my dear father died on March 30. During no period did I pray more frequently or more earnestly for the conversion of my dear aged parent than during the last year of his life; but, at all events, it did not please the Lord to let me see the answer to my prayers.
April 9. We are on the point of sending some money to the East Indies for missionary objects. Whilst I was on my knees respecting this object, five pounds was brought for it.
May 2. Nothing having come in for five days, we were to-day again penniless. In answer to prayer five shillings sixpence came in, and some trinkets were sent, the names of which the donor does not wish to be known. Thus we were helped through this day. Observe here how the Lord allowed five days to pass away without influencing the hearts of any to send us supplies; but the moment there is real need, the stream runs again.
May 3. Last evening a brother was baptized, who on the first Lord’s day of this year came with his intended wife to Bethesda Chapel. Both were in an unconverted state. Only since April 1, forty-one persons have come to us to speak about their souls.
May 8. There are four believers staying at my house, and to-day we had only a few shillings of our own money left. I gave myself, therefore, to prayer for means for our own personal expenses. In answer to my request, I received this morning five pounds.
May 10. To-day five of the orphans were baptized. There are now fourteen of them in fellowship.