In reference to the note which was put into my hat, containing five pounds, I just add, that I had repeatedly asked the Lord for means for our own personal expenses, previous to the reception of it, as we had but very little money for ourselves. Indeed, the very moment before I took my hat from the rail, I had risen from my knees, having again asked the Lord for means for ourselves and for the orphans.
November 8. I purposed to have gone to Trowbridge yesterday, and had settled it so on Friday evening with brother ——. But no sooner had I decided to do so, than I felt no peace in the prospect of going. After having prayed about it on Friday evening and yesterday morning, I determined not to go, and I felt sure the Lord had some reason for not allowing me to feel happy in the prospect of going. I began now to look out for blessings for this day, considering that the Lord had kept me here for good to some souls. This evening I was especially led to press the truth on the consciences of the unconverted, entreating and beseeching them, and telling them also that I felt sure the Lord had, in mercy to some of them, kept me from going to Trowbridge. I spoke on Genesis vi. 1-5. Immediately after, I saw fruit of the word. An individual fully opened his heart to me. I walked about with him till about ten o’clock, even as long as I had any strength left. [About ten days afterwards, a brother told me of a poor drunkard who heard me that evening, and who since then had stayed up till about twelve o’clock every night to read the Scriptures, and who had not been intoxicated since.]
At the close of these details, with reference to the year from December 9, 1839, to December 9, 1840, I make a few remarks.
1. Though our trials of faith during this year also have been many, and recurring more frequently than during any previous year, and though we have been often reduced to the greatest extremity, yet the orphans have lacked nothing; for they always have had good nourishing food, and the necessary articles of clothing, etc.
2. Should it be supposed by any one, in reading the plain details of our trials of faith during this year, that on account of them we have been disappointed in our expectations, or are discouraged in the work, my answer is, that the very reverse is the fact. Such days were expected from the commencement of the work; nay, more than this, the chief end for which the Institution was established is, that the church of Christ at large might be benefited by seeing manifestly the hand of God stretched out on our behalf in the hour of need, in answer to prayer. Our desire, therefore, is, not that we may be without trials of faith, but that the Lord graciously would be pleased to support us in the trial, that we may not dishonor him by distrust.
3. This way of living brings the Lord remarkably near. He is, as it were, morning by morning inspecting our stores, that accordingly he may send help. Greater and more manifest nearness of the Lord’s presence I have never had than when after breakfast there were no means for dinner, and then the Lord provided the dinner for more than one hundred persons; or when, after dinner, there were no means for the tea, and yet the Lord provided the tea; and all this without one single human being having been informed about our need. This moreover I add, that although we who have been eyewitnesses of these gracious interpositions of our Father, have not been so benefited by them as we might and ought to have been, yet we have in some measure derived blessings from them. One thing is certain, that we are not tired of doing the Lord’s work in this way.
4. It has been more than once observed, that such a way of living must lead the mind continually to think whence food, clothes, etc., are to come, and so unfit for spiritual exercises. Now, in the first place, I answer that our minds are very little tried about the necessaries of life, just because the care respecting them is laid upon our Father, who, because we are his children, not only allows us to do so, but will have us to do so. Secondly, it must be remembered, that, even if our minds were much tried about the supplies for the children, and the means for the other work, yet, because we look to the Lord alone for these things, we should only be brought, by our sense of need, into the presence of our Father for the supply of it; and that is a blessing, and no injury to the soul. Thirdly, our souls realize that for the glory of God, and for the benefit of the church at large it is that we have these trials of faith, and that leads again to God, to ask him for fresh supplies of grace, to be enabled to be faithful in this service.
5. My heart’s desire and prayer to God is, that all believers who read this may by these many answers to prayer be encouraged to pray, particularly as it regards the conversion of their friends and relations, their own state of heart, the state of the church at large, and the success of the preaching of the gospel. Do not think, dear reader, that these things are peculiar to us, and cannot be enjoyed by all the saints. Although every child of God is not called by the Lord to establish schools and orphan houses, and to trust in the Lord for means for them; yet there is nothing on the part of the Lord to hinder, why you may not know, by experience, far more abundantly than we do now, his willingness to answer the prayers of his children. Do but prove the faithfulness of God. Do but carry your every want to him. Only maintain an upright heart. But if you live in sin; if you wilfully and habitually do things respecting which you know that they are contrary to the will of God, then you cannot expect to be heard by him. “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me; but verily God hath heard me; he hath attended to the voice of my prayer.” Psalm lxvi. 18, 19.
6. As it regards the children of God, who by the labor of their hands, or in any business or profession, earn their bread, particularly the poorer classes of them, I give my affectionate yet solemn advice to carry into practice the principles on which this Institution is conducted as it regards not going into debt. Are you in debt? then make confession of sin respecting it. Sincerely confess to the Lord that you have sinned against Rom. xiii. 8. And if you are resolved no more to contract debt, whatever may be the result, and you are waiting on the Lord and truly trust in him, your present debts will soon be paid. Are you out of debt? then, whatever your future want may be, be resolved, in the strength of Jesus, rather to suffer the greatest privation, whilst waiting upon God for help, than to use unscriptural means, such as borrowing, taking goods on credit, etc., to deliver yourselves. This way needs but to be tried, in order that its excellency may be enjoyed.
There are a few points more which may be of interest to the believing reader, which I shall now add.