REVIEW OF THE YEAR, 1842.
1. As to the church. There are 601 at present in communion; 73 have been added during the past year, of whom 27 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among us.
2. As to the supply of my temporal necessities, the Lord has been pleased to send me £329, 16s.
Feb. 11, 1843. We had one pound fourteen shillings towards the expenses of this day. But as this was not enough, I asked the Lord still further for help, and, behold, this morning’s post brought me a post-office order for two pounds from Stafford, of which one pound seven shillings sixpence is for the orphans. Thus we have three pounds one shilling sixpence, which is quite enough for this day.
Admire with me, my dear reader, if you know the Lord, his seasonable help. Why does this post-office order not come a few days sooner or later? Because the Lord would help us by means of it, and therefore influences the donor just then, and not sooner nor later, to send it. Surely, all who know the Lord, and who have no interest in disowning it, cannot but see his hand in a remarkable manner in this work. Nor will the godly and simple-minded reader say, “There is no difference between this way of proceeding, on the one hand, and going from individual to individual, asking them for means, on the other hand; for the writing of the Reports is just the same thing.” My dear reader, there is a great difference. Suppose that we are in need. Suppose that our poverty lasts for some weeks, or even some months, together. Is there not, in that case, a difference between asking the Lord only from day to day, without speaking to any human being not connected directly with the work about our poverty, on the one hand, and writing letters or making personal application to benevolent individuals for assistance, on the other hand? Truly, there is a great difference between these two modes. I do not mean to say that it would be acting against the precepts of the Lord to seek for help in his work by personal and individual application to believers (though it would be in direct opposition to his will to apply to unbelievers, 2 Cor. vi. 14-18); but I act in the way in which I do for the benefit of the church at large, cheerfully bearing the trials, and sometimes the deep trials, connected with this life of faith (which however brings along with it also its precious joys), if by any means a part at least of my fellow-believers might be led to see the reality of dealing with God only, and that there is such a thing as the child of God having power with God by prayer and faith. That the Lord should use for so glorious a service one so vile, so unfaithful, so altogether unworthy of the least notice as I am, I can only ascribe to the riches of his condescending grace, in which he takes up the most unlikely instruments, that the honor may be manifestly his.
Should Satan seek to whisper into your ears, Perhaps the matter is made known, after all, when there is need (as it has been once said about me at a public meeting in a large town, that when we were in want I prayed publicly that the Lord would send help for the orphans, which is entirely false); I say, should it be said that I took care that our wants were made known, I reply: Whom did I ask for anything these many years since the work has been going on? To whom did I make known our wants, except to those who are closely connected with the work? Nay, so far from wishing to make known our need, for the purpose of influencing benevolent persons to contribute to the necessities of the Institution under my care, I have even refused to let our circumstances be known, after having been asked about them, when, on simply saying that we were in need, I might have had considerable sums. Some instances of this have been given in the former part of this Narrative. In such cases I refused in order that the hand of God only might be manifest; for that, and not the money, nor even the ability of continuing to carry on the work, is my especial aim. And such self-possession has the Lord given me, that in the times of the deepest poverty, whilst there was nothing at all in hand, and whilst we had even from meal to meal to wait upon the Lord for the necessities of more than one hundred persons, when a donation of five pounds or ten pounds, or more, has been given to me, the donors could not have read in my countenance whether we had much or nothing at all in hand. But enough of this. I have made these few remarks, beloved reader, lest by any means you should lose the blessing which might come to your soul through reading the account of the Lord’s faithfulness and readiness to hear the prayers of his children.
March 8. On Oct. 25, 1842, I had a long conversation with a sister in the Lord, who opened her heart to me. On leaving me I told her that my house and my purse were hers, and that I should be glad if she would have one purse with me. This I said because I judged that at some future time it might prove a comfort to her in an hour of trial, having at the same time, to judge from a circumstance which had occurred two days before, every reason to believe that she had not five pounds of her own. This sister, after I had said so, readily took me at my word, and said, I shall be glad of it, adding presently that she had five hundred pounds. The moment I heard that, I drew back, and said that had I known that she had any money I should not have made her this offer, and then gave her my reason why I had supposed she had no property at all. She then assured me that she possessed five hundred pounds, and that she had never seen it right to give up this money, else she would have done so; but that, as God had put this sum into her hands without her seeking, she thought it was a provision which the Lord had made for her. I replied scarcely anything to this; but she asked me to pray for her with reference to this matter. This whole conversation about the money occupied but very few minutes, and it all took place after the sister had risen and was on the point of leaving me. After she was gone, I asked the Lord if he would be pleased to make this dear sister so happy in himself; and enable her so to realize her true riches and inheritance in the Lord Jesus, and the reality of her heavenly calling, that she might be constrained by the love of Christ cheerfully to lay down this five hundred pounds at his feet. From that time I repeated this my request before the Lord daily, and often two, three, or four times a day; but not a single word or line passed between me and this sister on the subject, nor did I even see her; for I judged that it would be far better that she retained this money, than that by persuasion she should give it up, and afterwards perhaps regret the step she had taken, and thereby more dishonor than honor be brought on the name of the Lord. After I had thus for twenty-four days daily besought the Lord on behalf of this sister, I found her one day, on returning home, at my house; when she told me that she wished to see me alone. She then said to me that from the time she had last conversed with me she had sought to ascertain the Lord’s will with reference to the five hundred pounds, and had examined the Scriptures and prayed about it, and that she was now assured that it was the will of the Lord she should give up this money. After she had told me this, I exhorted her to count well the cost, and to do nothing rashly, lest she should regret the step she had taken, and to wait at least a fortnight longer before she carried out her intention. Thus we separated. On the eighteenth day after this conversation I received the following letter:—
Dear Brother:
I believe the Lord has not permitted you to grow weary of remembering me, but that he has still enabled you to bear me upon your heart in his presence. All is well with me, dear brother. Your petitions have been heard and answered; I am happy and at peace. The Lord has indeed manifested his tender care of and his great love towards me in Jesus, in inclining my heart cheerfully to lay all I have hitherto called my own at his feet. It is a high privilege.