It was in Texas it happened.
An old farmer had a girl attending school at Fort Worth, and in course of a letter home to the old folks chanced to say "I'm just in love with ping pong."
Whereupon up rose the Texan farmer in wrath and laid down the law in unmistakeable terms.
You see he had been to Fort Worth and even had his biled shirt done up at a Celestial laundry.
"Here, mother," says he, bringing down his horny fist on the table till the dishes danced. "You jest write and tell Amarillis Jane that if she's goin' to fall in love with any of them blamed Fort Worth Chinamen, she can just count on bein' cut off without a cent."
Bijinks puts up a bluff about having fought in the Spanish-American war. He was enrolled but he never fought. Fact is, he got discharged for a breach of etiquette. Yes, you see he turned his back to the enemy.
Do any of you people play golf? My advice is "Don't!" But what's the use of talking?
The fascination of golf has much to answer for.