"And what did you tell him?" I asked the man of business.

"That it was impossible, as we were so overwhelmed with work. He seemed to take it so to heart that I felt a touch of pity for him, so I told him that if business dropped off some I wouldn't mind his going to a funeral, say on Saturday afternoon."

Had a great game of poker last night. Here's an inch of horse-sense you poker-players will appreciate:

All poker sharps with one accord
Admit this truth we trust:
The man who always sweeps the board
Is bound to get the dust.

Zacharia, my barber, is quite a character.

I thought to joke him the last time he cut my hair.

"Look here," I remarked, "hair getting thin, eh?"

"Sure, it is."

"Seems to me you ought to charge me half price, since the quantity has fallen off so."