At Hotel On-de-Blink

by George P. Seiler

Hans (undertone to Case). Subbose I put der floor mit molasses?

Enter Gretch, D. C.

Gretch. Fader, dere iss id a letter for you. I bane tink it iss goot news.

Hans (taking letter). Goot news? I bet diss hotel to a beanut dot id iss anodder bill. (Opens letter and reads.) Hooray, Gretch, look vot id iss. (Reads from letter.) “Hotel ‘On-de-Blink’: Gents, der Gount de Slob iss draveling in-cog, und vill stop at your hotel. Blease commoderate him.” (Lays letter on desk.) I vant to ask you someding.

Case. All right. Fire away.

Hans. Vot kind of a machine iss dot in-cog?

Case. Machine?

Hans. Yah; dot letter says he iss draveling in-cog. Don’t dot iss id a machine?

Case. No, no. That means that he is in disguise.

Hans. Oh, ho, den dere iss no cogs, eh? (Enter Rusty Ruffles unobserved by others and reads letter, pantomiming that the idea of impersonating the count has occurred to him. Exits, D. C. Hans, during above action by Ruff.) Here you, Dony Bootchee.