Hans. You see, I yoost landed from der boat off. Der first ting a fellow handed me a card und I don’t know somedings yet, so I gif me dot card to a boliceman. He tells a schmall poy to come mit me und ve goes by dot blace on der card. Ach, a man dakes der card und shoves me inside. Anudder fellow tell me to remove mine clothes. Ven I gets dem off he shoves me into a room und—ach du lieber—I puts me mine foot on der floor und you bet I yump. I put me mine hand on der vall und ach, such a hotness. In a few minutes a fellow shouts by der door in: “Vas you sweating?” Ach himmel, vas I sweating? Ach himmel, I bet if I don’t get out purty kervick I drip oud by der drain bipe. I feel I yoost like a sdreet sprinkler. Den dot fellow comes in und rubs me down mit a currycomb. Ven he had all der skin scrabed off, he says: “Are you purty veil done?” I told him I don’t know, take a fork und turn me over on der odder side. Den, oh, chee—he shoves me into a dank of ice varter. (Shivers.) Dot vas den year ago, und every time I dink about id I get der shakes.
(Closing song by Hans.)
CURTAIN
SCENE II.—Same as in Scene I.
(Discover seated about stage all members thereon when first part closed and in same positions.)
Hop (entering D. L.). Schultz, room fifty-nine says send him a pousse-café and charge it.
Hans. Go back und tell him ve don’t charge anything but storage batteries.
[Exit Hop.
Ruff. Landlord, where’s that fine little kitten you had the last time I was here?
Hans. Vell—she——