Nutt. Oh, Weber, I’ve heard that your girl has a new auto.
Weber. Did yuh?
Nutt. Uh-huh. Who drives it?
Ruff. Nobody; dey coaxes it.
Nutt (to Miss G.). Do you know that Weber’s intended father-in-law is the funniest little man you ever saw?
Miss G. Is that possible?
Nutt. And he has only one eye, too.
Weber. Say, talkin’ ’bout dat ole man. De odder day I had him out wif me an’ I los’ him in de crowd. I went up to a policeman and I axes him: “Hofficer, I’m looking for a little man wif one eye.” What do you think dat ole fool tole me? He said: “Mose, if he’s so small, why don’t you use two eyes?”
Hop (entering L. 1 E.). Sir, a gentleman in the dining-room sends his compliments and says the steak he is eating is the first tender steak he has ever eaten here.
Hans. Ach himmel—dot feller got mine steak.