HEN London’s wrapped in filthy fogs,
When seized are my unmuzzled dogs,
When full and fierce the east winds blow,
I wish myself in Jericho!
When all night long the howling cad
Disturbs my sleep and drives me mad,
And milk-carts rattle to and fro,
I wish myself in Jericho.
When snow and slush block up the street,
And “slides” send skyward both my feet,
And bang upon my back I go,
I wish myself in Jericho.
When County Council cranks disgust,
When schemes that drew my coin go bust,
When bigots harass every show,
I wish myself in Jericho.
When frost gives way to sudden thaw,
And all my pipes have got a flaw,
And through my house the waters flow,
I wish myself in Jericho.
When for next Sunday’s Referee
I have to do my M. and C.
While in dyspepsia’s direst throe,
I wish myself in Jericho.
The Song of Heredity.
Y father was a madman, do you wonder I’m insane?
My mother wasn’t pretty, do you wonder I am plain?
My father was consumptive, and my hollow cheeks you see;
Can you wonder I’m a drunkard when my mother had d.t.?
Science speaks out pretty plainly on “hereditary taint,”
And the sinner breeds a sinner, as the saint begets a saint;
Then why call me Ananias, and reproach me, since, forsooth,
My papa was such a liar that I cannot tell the truth?