"To doubt, it may be. Remove suspicion, which was not a part of my nature, and which has caused me much suffering, and I will bless you. Above all, remove all doubt of myself, for that feeling makes me powerless."
"We can remove doubt only by developing our principles. To give you material guaranties of our sincerity and power, is impossible; on that point we will do no more than we have hitherto. Let the services we have rendered you suffice: we will always aid you when an occasion occurs, but will not initiate you into the mysteries of our thought and action, except in the particular matter we confide to you. You will not know us, you will never see our faces. You will never know our names, unless some great interest force us to infringe and violate the law which makes us unknown and invisible to our disciples. Can you submit, and yield yourself blindly to men, who to you never will be anything but abstract beings, living ideas, aiders, and mysterious advisers."
"Vain curiosity alone could impel me to wish to know you in any other manner. I hope this puerile sentiment never will take possession of me."
"This is not a matter of curiosity, but of distrust. Your reasoning will be founded on the logic and prudence of the world. A man is responsible for his actions—his name is either a warrant or a warning, his reputation either sustains or contradicts his actions. Remember, you can never compare the conduct of any one of us with the precepts of the order. You must believe in us as in saints, without being aware whether we are hypocrites or not. You may see injustice emanate from our decisions—even perfidy and apparent cruelty. You can no more control our conduct than our intentions. Are you firm enough to walk with your eyes closed on the bank of an abyss?"
"In the practical observance of Catholicism, I have done so from my very childhood," said Consuelo, after a moment's reflection. "I have opened my heart, and abandoned the charge of my conscience to a priest, whose features were hid by the grating of the confessional, of whose name and tenor of life I was ignorant. I saw in him only the priest. The man was nothing. I was the servant of Christ, and did not care for the minister. Think you this is at all different?"
"Lift up your hand, then, if you are resolved to persist."
"Listen," said Consuelo. "Your answer will determine my life; but permit me to question you for the first and last time."
"You see! Already you hesitate, and look for guaranties elsewhere than in impulse, and the anxiety of your heart to possess the idea of which we speak. Yet go on; your question, perhaps, may give us information in relation to your disposition."
"My question is simply this: Is Albert initiated in your secrets?"
"Yes."