"Certain Saint-Simonian pamphlets fell into my hands by chance, I read them to pass the time, having as yet no idea that they could go beyond the bold theories of Jean-Jacques and Voltaire, with whom careful study had reconciled me.
"I determined to know more of the principles of this new school, and I passed from that to the study of Fourier. I admitted everything, although I did not very clearly distinguish their contradictions, and it still saddened me to see the ancient world crumble under the weight of theories invincible in their system of criticism, confused and incomplete in their principles of organization. It was not until five or six years ago that I accepted with perfect disinterestedness and great mental satisfaction the principle of a social revolution.
"The attempts at communism had seemed to me monstrous at first, on the faith of those who combated them. I read the newspapers and publications of all the schools, and I gradually lost myself in that labyrinth, without being repelled by fatigue. Little by little the communist hypothesis came forth from its clouds; able expositions shed light into my mind. I felt that I must go back to the teaching of history and to the tradition of the human race.
"I had a well-selected library of the best documents and the most serious works of the past. My father had been fond of reading, and I had hated it for so many years that I did not even know what precious resources he had left me for my old age. I set to work all alone. I learned again the dead languages, which I had forgotten; I read for the first time, in the original sources, the history of religions and philosophies, and the day came at last when the great men, the saints, the prophets, the poets, the martyrs, the heretics, the scholars, the enlightened orthodox believers, the innovators, the artists, the reformers of all times, all countries, of all the revolutions and of all the forms of worship seemed to me to be in accord, proclaiming in every form, and even in their apparent contradictions, one eternal truth, as logical and as clear as the light of day, namely the equality of rights, and the inevitable necessity of equality of enjoyment thereof as a rigorous consequence of the first.
"Since then I have been surprised by only one thing, and that is that in the time in which we live, with so many resources and discoveries, so much activity, intelligence and freedom of opinion, the world is still plunged in such utter ignorance of the logical results of the facts and ideas which are forcing it to transform itself; that there are so many self-styled theologians encouraged and supported by the State and by the Church, and that no one of them has ever thought of devoting his life to the very simple labor which led me to certainty; and lastly, that while rushing onward to the catastrophe of its dissolution, the world of the past thinks to preserve itself by the strength and wrath of the destiny which hurries it on and swallows it, whereas those who know the secret of the law of the future have not as yet sufficient tranquillity and good sense to laugh at insults and to proclaim, with head erect, that they are communists and nothing else.
"You talk of dreams and Utopias with eloquence and enthusiasm, Monsieur Cardonnet; I forgive you for making use of those expressions because at your age truth arouses enthusiasm, and one makes of it an ideal which he purposely places rather high and rather far away, in order to have the pleasure of reaching it by earnest effort. But I can not work myself up as you do over this truth, which seems to me as simple, as manifest and as incontestable as it seems to you novel, bold and romantic. In my case it is the result of a deeper study and of a more firmly seated certainty. I do not dislike your vivacity, but I should not blame myself if I were to combat it a little in order to prevent you from endangering the doctrine by over-eagerness.
"Beware of that: you are too happily endowed ever to become ridiculous, and you will please even those people who fight against you; but be careful lest, by talking too fast and to too many disaffected persons of matters so serious and so worthy of respect, you tempt them to resort to systematic contradictions and to defend themselves in bad faith.
"What would you say of a young priest who should deliver sermons at the dinner-table? You would say that he belittled the majesty of his texts. Communistic truth is as deserving of respect as gospel truth, since it is in reality the same truth. Let us not speak of it lightly, therefore, and after the manner of political discussion. If you are excited, you must make sure that you are entirely master of yourself before proclaiming it; if you are phlegmatic, like me, you must wait until you acquire a little self-confidence and mental activity before opening your heart to other men on such a subject.
"You see, Monsieur Cardonnet, people must not have a chance to say that this is all folly, idle dreaming, feverish declamation, or a vision of mysticism. That has been said quite enough, and enough weak minds have given people the right to say it.
"We have seen Saint-Simonism pass through its phase of trances and feverish and disordered visions; that did not prevent the survival of whatever was viable in Saint-Simonism.