Down the line with John Henry

by George V. Hobart

Every time he tried to use the elastic in his neck the wife would burn him with a hard, cold glitter.

The Roast-Beef Sisters seemed to be all carved up about something or other.

We were back to the shop selling things again when Sledgeheimer fluttered down among us.

The boys call him putty because he's the next thing to a pane.

He's such a stingy loosener that he looks at you with one eye so's not to waste the other.

If you ask Sledgeheimer what time it is he takes off four minutes as his commission for telling you.

"Barnes," said Sledgeheimer, "do you smoke?"

It was a knock-out.

In the annals of the road no one could look back to the proud day when Sledgeheimer had coughed.

Once, so the legend runs, he gave a porter a nickel, but it was afterwards discovered that Sledgeheimer was asleep and not responsible at the time, so the porter gave it back.