At 8:15 the orchestra leader came up to see why we didn't ring in and Bunch told him to ring off.
I told Beethoven, or whatever his name was, to tune up and play everything in sight till I gave him the warning.
At 8:20 Ma'moiselle Dodo waltzed out of her dressing room made up to look like a cream puff.
"Where's Skinski?" I shrieked. "It's nearly 8:30 and he's keeping that mob waiting. Isn't he going to show up!"
"You betcher sweet!" she gurgled, and passed on.
At 8:25 I rushed into Skinski's dressing room, put on a swift makeup, dove into Skinski's fright wig, hid my face behind a false moustache and goatee, and prepared to sell my life dearly.
"What are you going to do?" asked Bunch in wild alarm.
"I'm going out and pull a few mouldy tricks till Skinski gets here," I answered heroically.
Then I gave the warning to the leader and rang up the curtain.
I was greeted by a harsh round of applause as I stepped out and I could feel both knees get up and leave my legs.