"The waiter bowed so low that his shoulder blades cracked like a whip.
"'Bring us,' I said, 'a plain omelet and one dish of prunes.'
[Illustration: "Bring us a plain omelet and one dish of prunes.">[
"I waited till Peter Girofla translated this into French and then I added, 'And on the side, please, two glasses of water and three toothpicks. Have the prunes fricasseed, wash the water on both corners, and bring the toothpicks rare.'
"The waiter rushed away and all around us we could hear money talking to itself.
"Fair women sat at the tables picking dishes out of the bill of fare which brought the blush of sorrow to the faces of their escorts. It was a wonderful sight, especially for those who have a nervous chill every time the gas bill comes in.
"When we ate our modest little dinner the waiter presented a check which called for three dollars and thirty-three cents.
"'The thirty-three cents is for what you ordered,' Alexander J. Dumas explained, 'and the three dollars is for the French hangings in the parlor.'
"'Holy Smoke!' I cried; 'that fellow Looey the Fifteenth has been doing a lot of work around here hasn't he?' but the waiter was so busy watching the finish of the change he handed me that he didn't crack a smile.
"Then I got reckless and handed him a fifty-cent tip.