"Blood and thunther!" roared the captain, becoming as red as scarlet; "and was it afther making a fool of myself that I was? For sure and it was Sir Christopher that was knocked down—and I didn't like to tell ye about it before, seeing that he's your own nat'ral uncle. But it's myself that will call upon him and offer the most abject apology; and I'll skin him alive if he don't come for'ard as he ought to do, and pay all your debts, my dear boy. So you persave that there's some use in having such a frind as Gorman O'Bluntherbuss, of Bluntherbuss Park, Connemar-r-ra, Ir-r-reland!" added the martial gentleman, with an awful rattling of the r's.
"The sooner I move over to the neighbourhood of the Bench, the better," said Mrs. Curtis; "for I am sick and tired of living in Baker Street. Just now, when I came out, it seemed to me that all the people I met laughed in my face, as if they knew our circumstances."
"I wish I had seen them dar-r to laugh!" cried Captain O'Blunderbuss, lifting up an empty bottle, and flourishing it over his head: "I'd have sent them slap into the middle of next week, so that they should miss resayving their money next Saturday night."
In such pleasant chat as this, did the trio while away the time until about a quarter to five, when Mr. Pepperton made his appearance to announce that the office had been searched, that three detainers had been found, and that the habeas corpus was all in apple-pie order.
Frank Curtis accordingly rang the bell, and ordered his bill. In about a quarter of an hour it was brought;—and thus it ran:—
Mr. Curtis's Account.
| s. | d. | ||
| Room | 10 | 6 | |
| Breakfast | 3 | 0 | |
| Eggs | 0 | 6 | |
| Messenger to Carey Street | 2 | 6 | |
| Reading Newspapers | 1 | 0 | |
| Dinner | 5 | 0 | |
| Porter | 0 | 6 | |
| Gin and Cigars | 5 | 6 | |
| Bread and Cheese for Supper | 2 | 0 | |
| Porter | 0 | 6 | |
| Room | 10 | 6 | |
| Breakfast | 3 | 0 | |
| Eggs | 0 | 6 | |
| Messenger to Baker Street | 3 | 0 | |
| Use of table-cloth, knives, and forks, &c., gentleman providing his own dinner | 2 | 6 | |
| Extras | 5 | 0 | |
| —— | —— | —— | |
| £2 | 15 | 6 | |
| —— | —— | —— |
"Why, my good woman," exclaimed Frank Curtis, amazed as such a terrific attempt at imposition, "this account is absurd. Besides, there are two things in it that I paid for myself—I mean the messenger yesterday and to-day."
"Master says it's all right, sir," observed the harridan.
"And then you charge a shilling for reading two newspapers a fortnight old," cried Frank, more and more bewildered as he studied the items of the bill: "and five shillings for extras! Why—what the devil are the extras, since it seems to me that you have taken precious good care to omit nothing?"