“And bar-r-ring my breeches, ye spalpeen!” cried the captain. “They must be immediately menthed, any how.”
“Oh! the tailor won’t think of asking for the money when he brings them home,” said Curtis: then, beholding the comical expression of his friend’s countenance, which was elongated with sore misgivings respecting the amount of confidence the snip might choose to put in his honour, Frank burst out into a tremendous fit of laughter.
“Arrah! and be Jasus! and it’s all mighty fine for you, Misther Curtis, to make a damned fool of yourself in that fashion,” exclaimed Captain O’Blunderbuss, becoming as red as a turkey-cock: “but I can assure ye that it’s no joking matther for me to contimplate the prospict of lying in bed for a week or two till I get my breeches back again. And now, if you’re not afther houlding your tongue, Frank, I’ll tip ye a small rap on the head with the poker—by the howly poker-r, I will!”
“Don’t get into a rage, captain,” said Curtis, putting a bridle upon his mirth in consequence of the threat just held out—a threat which he knew his amiable friend was perfectly capable of putting into force. “I will go out the first thing in the morning and see Styles—and I have no doubt he will give me some money. I shall be back again by the time the tailor comes home with—with——”
“The unmintionables!” vociferated the captain, his wrath reviving as he saw that his friend was once more on the point of giving vent to a hearty cachinnation. “But here’s the gal coming up stairs with the potheen; and so we’ll be afther enjoying ourselves for the prisint, and think of the tightness of the Money-Mar-r-rket in the morning.”
“Well, what the deuce has made you so long?” demanded Frank Curtis, as the slip-shod domestic entered the room.
“Long, sir!” echoed the girl, as if in surprise. “Lor, sir—I ain’t been a minit!”
“Not a minute!” cried Frank, who always bullied servants—when they weren’t footmen who could knock him down for his impudence: “I tell you, you’ve been more than a quarter of an hour.”
“Well, sir—and if so be I have,” said the girl, suddenly recollecting something which had occurred to hinder her on her errand, “it was because as I went out of the street-door a man come up and asked me if so be as Mr. Smith lived here. ‘No,’ says I: ‘he don’t.’—‘Well, then,’ says the man, ‘Mr. Brown does.’—‘No, he don’t, though,’ I says, says I; ‘nor yet Mr. Jones, nor Mr. Noakes neether.’—‘Well, who does live here, then?’ says the man; and as I thought it would teach him not to be so precious knowing another time, I out and told him slap as how two gentlemen lived here as was named Blunderbuss—leastways, O’Blunderbuss, and Curtis.”
“The devil you did!” ejaculated the two lodgers as it were in the same breath, and exchanging significant glances which expressed the same apprehension.