I felt that it was up to me to do something to maintain the reputation I had made, so I said, “Your majesty, I will now proceed to make it interesting for you, if you and the boys will kindly be seated in a circle around me.” They got into a circle, all laughing, and I took out of my pistol pocket a half pint flask, of glass, covered with leather, and with a stopper that opened by touching a spring, and I walked around in front of each one of the Royal family, mumbling, “Ene-mene-mony-my,” and opening the flask in front of each one, and pretty soon they all began to get nervous, and scratch themselves, and the Emperor slapped his leg, and pinched his arm, and put his fingers down his collar and scratched his neck, and the Crown Prince jumped up and kicked his leg, and scratched his back, and said, “Say, kid, you are not hypnotizing us, are you?” and I said, “Ene-meny-mony-my,” and kept on touching the stopper.
By and by they all got to scratching, and the Emperor turned sort of pale, but he was going to see the show through to the end, as long as he had a ticket, and he said, “What is the joke, anyway?” and I kept on saying, “Ene-mene-mony-my,” and walking around in front of them, and dad began to dance around, too, and dig under his shirt bosom, and scratch his leg, and then they all scratched in unison, and laughed, and a little prince asked how long before they would know what it was all about, and I said my ene-mene, and looked solemn, and dad said, “What you giving us?” and I said, “Never you mind; this is my show, and I am the whole push,” and everybody had raised up out of his chair and each was scratching for all that was out, and finally the Emperor said, “I like a joke as well as anybody, but I can't laugh until I know what I am laughing about,” and he told dad to make me show what was in the bottle, and I showed the bottle and there was nothing in it, and there they stood scratching themselves, and I told dad we better excuse ourselves and go, and we were going all right enough when dad said, “What is it you are doing?” and as we got almost to the door I said, “Your majesty, I have distributed, impartially, I trust, in the Royal family of Germany, a half a pint of the hungriest fleas that Egypt can produce, for they have been in that flask three weeks, with nothing to eat except themselves, and I estimate that there were a million Cairo fleas in the flask, enough to set up housekeeping in your palace, with enough to stock the palace of your Crown Prince when he is married, and this is that you may remember the visit of Peck's Bad Boy and his Dad.”
The Emperor was mad at first, but he laughed, and when we got out of the palace dad leaned against a lamp post and scratched his back, and said to me, “Hennery, you never ought to have did it,” and I said, “What could a poor boy do when called upon suddenly to do something to entertain royalty?”
“Well,” says dad, “I don't care for myself, but this thing is apt to bring on international complications,” and I said, “Yes, it will bring Persia into it, cause they will have to use Persian insect powder to get rid of them,” and then we went to our hotel and fought fleas all night, and thought of the sleepless night the royal family were having.
Well, so long, old Pummernickel.
Your only,
Hennery.