It is the great ambition of our life to bring to the notice of the people of the world the curative powers of the La Crosse water, that all who may be suffering from any disease, however complicated, may be cured, and all men may become healthy, and women too, and doctors will have to go out harvesting. The La Crosse artesian well, was begun last fall, and completed as soon as the contractor found he couldn’t make any money at it. It was rumored that he struck granite, and in fact several little specks of granite were found in the stuff that come from the hole, but it is pretty generally believed now that the granite particles got in from the top, unknown to the contractor. The water came to within ten feet of the surface, and struck. It never would come any further, and the world would have remained in ignorance of its curative powers, only for Powers, who put in a hydraulic ram, and the blockade was broken, the water now flows to the surface, and all is well.
Attention was first called to the curative powers of the water, by a singular incident. A teamster whose duty it was to haul stone, was in the habit of stopping at the well to water his mules. One of the mules was in a sad state. He was blind in one eye, had a spavin, a ringbone, the heaves, his liver was torpid, his lungs were badly affected, and his friends feared that he was not long for the stone quarry. He had no family. Soon after the mule began to drink the water, the driver noticed a great change come over him. Previously he had seemed resigned to his fate, but latterly he was ambitious. One day while playfully mashing the mule over the head with a sled stake, the driver noticed that a new eye had grown in the place of the former cavity, and as the mule kicked him with more than his accustomed vigor, he noticed that the spavin and ring bone were gone, and the former plaintive melody of his voice gave place to a bray that resembled the whistle of the Alex. Mitchell. When it was known that the mule had been cured, others tried the water, men who had never drank it before, until to-day there are thousands who will testify to the benefits arising from its use. We could give the names of many who have been snatched from the grave—the La Crosse water is a regular body snatcher—but we will first give an analysis of the water.
Believing that the water was destined to play a prominent part in solving the great question of how to euchre death, we sent a quantity of it to the eminent Prof. Alonzo Brown, M.D.V.S. of Jefferson, Wis., with a letter of transmittal authorizing him to analyze it thoroughly, and give us the result, at our expense. The following is Prof. Brown’s analysis:
LABRATORY JEFFERSON LIVERY STABLE,
August 3, 1877.
Lieut. GEO. W. PECK,
4th Wis. Cavalry,
Dear Sir:
Yours of July 25th, received. I should have attended to the water before, but have had several cases of blind staggers in my barn, which has kept me busy. I have examined the water by every process known to science, and pronounce it bully. I took it apart at my leisure, and find that it contains to one U.S. washtub full, of 741 cubic inches, the following stuff:
| Chloride, of Sodium, (common salt) | 2 | sacks. |
| Chloride of Pilgarlic | 40,021 | grains. |
| Bicarbonate of erysipelas | 11,602 | grains. |
| Bicarbonate of pie plant | 2,071 | grains. |
| Blue pills | 21,011 | grains. |
| Bicarbonate of soda water (vanilla.) | 17,201 | grains. |
| Sulphate of Potasalager beer | 61,399 | grains. |
| Bicarbonate corrugated iron | 18,020 | grains. |
| Mustang Liniment | 240 | grains. |
| Boneset and summer savory | 10,210 | grains. |
| Dow's Liver Cure, (6 bottles for $1.) | 16,297 | grains. |
| Bromide of Alcock's Porous Plaster | 22,222 | grains. |
| Flouride of Pain Killer (for cucumbers,) | 055 | grains. |
| Paris green | 001 | grains. |
| Spruce gum and Vinegar Bitters | 075 | grains. |