SINCE I wrote last, we have buried our Sister L——. Rachel I left at Philadelphia, and sister T—— seems to be in a declining state; so that sister A—— alone is like to be left of all the women which came over with me from England. I find by experience, that a mistress is absolutely necessary for the due management of my increasing family, and to take off some of that care, which at present lies upon me. Besides, I shall in all probability, at my next return from England, bring more women with me: and I find, unless they are all truly gracious (or indeed if they are) without a superior, matters cannot be carried on as becometh the gospel of Jesus Christ. It hath been therefore much impressed upon my heart, that I should marry, in order to have a help meet for me in the work whereunto our dear Lord Jesus hath called me. This comes (like Abraham’s servant to Rebekah’s relations) to know whether you think your daughter, Miss E——, is a proper person to engage in such an undertaking? If so; whether you will be pleased to give me leave to propose marriage unto her? You need not be afraid of sending me a refusal. For, I bless God, if I know any thing of my own heart, I am free from that foolish passion, which the world calls Love. I write, only because I believe it is the will of God, that I should alter my state; but your denial will fully convince me, that your daughter is not the person appointed by God for me. He knows my heart; I would not marry but for him, and in him, for ten thousand worlds.—But I have sometimes thought Miss E—— would be my help-mate; for she has often been impressed upon my heart. I should think myself safer in your family, because so many of you love the Lord Jesus, and consequently would be more watchful over my precious and immortal soul. After strong crying and tears at the throne of grace for direction, and after unspeakable troubles with my own heart, I write this. Be pleased to spread the letter before the Lord; and if you think this motion to be of him, be pleased to deliver the inclosed to your daughter—If not, say nothing, only let me know you disapprove of it, and that shall satisfy, dear Sir and Madam,
Your obliged friend and servant in Christ,
G. W.
LETTER CLXXIII.
To Miss E——.
On board the Savannah, April 4th, 1740.
BE not surprised at the contents of this:—The letter sent to your honoured father and mother will acquaint you with the reasons. Do you think, you could undergo the fatigues, that must necessarily attend being joined to one, who is every day liable to be called out to suffer for the sake of Jesus Christ? Can you bear to leave your father and kindred’s house, and to trust on him, (who feedeth the young ravens that call upon him) for your own and childrens support, supposing it should please him to bless you with any? Can you undertake to help a husband in the charge of a family, consisting perhaps of a hundred persons? Can you bear the inclemencies of the air both as to cold and heat in a foreign climate? Can you, when you have an husband, be as though you had none, and willingly part with him, even for a long season, when his Lord and master shall call him forth to preach the gospel, and command him to leave you behind? If after seeking to God for direction, and searching your heart, you can say, “I can do all those things through Christ strengthening me,” what if you and I were joined together in the Lord, and you came with me at my return from England, to be a help meet for me in the management of the orphan-house? I have great reason to believe it is the divine will that I should alter my condition, and have often thought you was the person appointed for me. I shall still wait on God for direction, and heartily intreat him, that if this motion be not of him, it may come to nought.—I write thus plainly, because, I trust, I write not from any other principles but the love of God.—I shall make it my business to call on the Lord Jesus, and would advise you to consult both him and your friends—For in order to attain a blessing, we should call both the Lord Jesus and his disciples to the marriage—I much like the manner of Isaac’s marrying with Rebekah, and think no marriage can succeed well, unless both parties concerned are like-minded with Tobias and his wife—I think I can call the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to witness that I desire “to take you my sister to wife, not for lust, but uprightly;” and therefore I hope he will mercifully ordain, if it be his blessed will we should be joined together, that we may walk as Zachary and Elizabeth did, in all the ordinances of the Lord blameless. I make no great profession to you, because I believe you think me sincere. The passionate expressions which carnal courtiers use, I think, ought to be avoided by those that would marry in the Lord. I can only promise, by the help of God, “to keep my matrimonial vow, and to do what I can towards helping you forward in the great work of your salvation.” If you think marriage will be any way prejudicial to your better part, be so kind as to send me a denial. I would not be a snare to you for the world. You need not be afraid of speaking your mind. I trust, I love you only for God, and desire to be joined to you only by his command, and for his sake. With fear and much trembling I write, and shall patiently tarry the Lord’s leisure, till he is pleased to incline you, dear Miss E——, to send an answer to
Your affectionate brother, friend and servant in Christ,
G. W.