LETTER XCVI.
To Mrs. Ann D.
Philadelphia, Nov. 10, 1739.
My dear Sister in Christ,
I Owe you several letters, I will pay you one now; have patience with me and I will pay you all. If any one ought to long to enjoy the communion of saints hereafter, I ought in a particular manner. God has highly favoured me in the acquaintance of numbers of his dearest children. I cannot see some, and to but few of them can I write, on account of other business. Hasten, O Lord, that blessed time, when we shall all sit down to eat bread in thy kingdom!—My dear Sister, pray that I may patiently wait till my change shall come. I want to leap my seventy years. I long to be dissolved to be with Christ. Sometimes it arises from a fear of falling, knowing what a body of sin I carry about me. Sometimes, from a prospect of future labours and sufferings, I am out of humour, and wish for death as Elijah did: At others, I am tempted, and then I long to be freed from temptations. But it is not thus always: There are times when my soul hath such foretastes of God, that I long more eagerly to be with him; and the frequent prospect of the happiness which the spirits of just men made perfect now enjoy, often carries me as it were into another world. Many such sweet meditations hath my soul been favoured with; but in the midst of all, I have felt, and do feel, that I am the chief of sinners. A mystery of iniquity that lay in my heart undiscovered, has been opened to my view, since my retirement in the ship. May he enlighten me more and more, to know and feel the mystery of his electing, soul-transforming love. Nothing like that, to support us under present, and all the various future trials which await us. But the Lord has apprehended us, and will not let us go. Men and devils may do their worst; our Jesus will suffer nothing to pluck us out of his Almighty hands; for he has loved us with an everlasting love, and therefore his right-hand shall uphold us. By his assistance, we shall hold out to the end. By his grace, I, you, and all his chosen ones shall finally be saved. Then, my dear Sister, shall we converse, not with ink and paper, but face to face. Then, but not till then, shall we fully know what a legion of devils Jesus Christ hath cast out of our souls, and how, after all our strivings against, and quenching many of the motions of his spirit, he at last brought us to glory. Cease not to pray for
Your unworthy brother in Christ,
G. W.