To the Rev. Mr. S——.
On board the Betsy, June 24, 1748.
Rev. and very dear Sir,
THOUGH we are about two hundred leagues from land, yet lest hurry of business should prevent me when we get a shore, I think proper to write you a few lines whilst I am on board.—Long before this reaches you, I suppose you will have heard of what the Lord of all Lords was pleased to do for me and his people at, and also when we sailed from, Bermudas. We sailed from thence just twenty-one days this morning, and have lived, as to the conveniencies of eating and drinking, like people that came from the continent, rather than one of the islands; so bountiful were our friends, whom we left behind us. Hitherto we have met with no storms or contrary winds, only it begins to head us now. But God, in his own time, I trust will carry us to our desired port. The first day we came out we were chased, and yesterday a large French vessel shot thrice at and bore down upon us. We gave up all for gone. I was dressing myself in order to receive our expected visitors. In the mean while, our Captain cries, “the danger is over.” The Frenchman turned about and left us. He was quite near, and we almost defenceless. Now we are so near the channel, we expect such alarms daily. If any thing happens extraordinary, I shall be particular. As for other things, I cannot say much. The Captain is exceeding civil, and I have my passage free; but all I have been able to do in the great [♦]cabin in respect to religious duties, is to read the church prayers once every evening, and twice on the Lord’s day. I have not preached yet; this may spare my lungs, but it grieves my heart. I long to be ashore, if it was for no other reason. Besides, I can do but little in respect to my writing. You may guess how it is, when we have four gentlewomen in the cabin. However, they have been, and are very civil, and I believe my being on board has been somewhat serviceable. My health I think is improved, and I have finished my abridgment of Mr. Law’s serious call, which I have endeavoured to gospelize. Yesterday I likewise made an end of revising all my journals. Blessed be God, for letting me have leisure to do it. I purpose to have a new edition before I see America. Alas! alas! In how many things have I judged and acted wrong.—I have been too rash and hasty in giving characters, both of places and persons. Being fond of scripture language, I have often used a style too apostolical, and at the same time I have been too bitter in my zeal. Wild-fire has been mixed with it, and I find that I frequently wrote and spoke in my own spirit, when I thought I was writing and speaking by the assistance of the spirit of God. I have likewise too much made inward impressions my rule of acting, and too soon and too explicitly published what had been better kept in longer, or told after my death. By these things I have given some wrong touches to God’s ark, and hurt the blessed cause I would defend, and also stirred up needless opposition. This has humbled me much since I have been on board, and made me think of a saying of Mr. Henry’s, “Joseph had more honesty than he had policy, or he never would have told his dreams.” At the same time, I cannot but bless, and praise, and magnify that good and gracious God, who filled me with so much of his holy fire, and carried me, a poor weak youth, through such a torrent both of popularity and contempt, and set so many seals to my unworthy ministrations. I bless him for ripening my judgment a little more, for giving me to see and confess, and I hope in some degree to correct and amend, some of my mistakes. I thank God for giving me grace to embark in such a blessed cause, and pray him to give me strength to hold on and increase in zeal and love to the end. Thus, dear Sir, have I unburdened my heart to you. I look upon you to be my fidus achates, and therefore deal thus freely. If I have time and freedom before we land, I think to write a short account of what has happened for these seven years last past; and when I get on shore, God willing, I purpose to revise and correct the first part of my life. I know you will pray that I may be directed and owned in every thing. I think often of, and pray for you, and as I intend writing to you again when I send this, I shall content myself at present with subscribing myself, Reverend and very dear Sir,
Your most affectionate obliged though unworthy brother and servant,
G. W.
[♦] “cabbin” replaced with “cabin”
LETTER DCXLI.
To Mrs. L——.