NEW YORK, April.
MY DEAR CAROLINE,—Lent came so frightfully early this year, that I was very much afraid my new bonnet à l’Imperatrice would not be out from Paris soon enough. But fortunately it arrived just in time, and I had the satisfaction of taking down the pride of Mrs. Croesus, who fancied hers would be the only stylish hat in church the first Sunday. She could not keep her eyes away from me, and I sat so unmoved, and so calmly looking at the Doctor, that she was quite vexed. But, whenever she turned away, I ran my eyes over the whole congregation, and would you believe that, almost without an exception, people had their old things? However, I suppose they forgot how soon Lent was coming. As I was passing out of church, Mrs. Croesus brushed by me:
“Ah!” said she, “good morning. Why bless me! you’ve got that pretty hat I saw at Lawson’s. Well, now, it’s really quite pretty; Lawson has some taste left yet; what a lovely sermon the Doctor gave us. By the by, did you know that Mrs. Gnu had actually bought the blue velvet? It’s too bad, because I wanted to cover my prayer-book with blue, and she sits so near, the effect of my book will be quite spoiled. Dear me! there she is beckoning to me; good-bye, do come and see us; Tuesdays, you know. Well, Lawson really does very well.”
I was so mad with the old thing, that I could not help catching her by her mantle and holding on while I whispered loud enough for everybody to hear:
“Mrs. Croesus, you see I have just got my bonnet from Paris. It’s made after the Empress’s. If you would like to have yours made over in the fashion, dear Mrs. Croesus, I shall be so glad to lend you mine.”
“No, thank you, dear,” said she, “Lawson won’t do for me. Bye-bye.”
And so she slipped out, and, I’ve no doubt, told Mrs. Gnu that she had seen my bonnet at Lawson’s. Isn’t it too bad? Then she is so abominably cool. Somehow, when I am talking with Mrs. Croesus, who has all her own things made at home, I don’t feel as if mine came from Paris at all. She has such a way of looking at you, that it’s quite dreadful. She seems to be saying in her mind, “La! now, well done, little dear.” And I think that kind of mental reservation (I think that’s what they call it) is an insupportable impertinence. However, I don’t care, do you?
I’ve so many things to tell you that I hardly know where to begin. The great thing is the livery, but I want to come regularly up to that, and forget nothing by the way. I was uncertain for a long time how to have my prayer-book bound. Finally, after thinking about it a great deal, I concluded to have it done in pale blue velvet, with gold clasps, and a gold cross upon the side. To be sure, it’s nothing very new. But what is new now-a-days? Sally Shrimp has had hers done in emerald, and I know Mrs. Croesus will have crimson for hers, and those people who sits next us in church (I wonder who they are; it’s very unpleasant to sit next to people you don’t know; and, positively, that girl, the dark-haired one with large eyes, carries the same muff she did last year; it’s big enough for a family) have a kind of brown morocco binding. I must tell you one reason why I fixed upon the pale-blue. You know that aristocratic-looking young man, in white cravat and black pantaloons and waistcoat, whom we saw at Saratoga a year ago, and who always had such a beautiful sanctimonious look, and such small white hands; well, he is a minister, as we supposed, “an unworthy candidate, and unprofitable husbandman,” as he calls himself in that delicious voice of his. He has been quite taken up among us. He has been asked a good deal to dinner, and there was hope of his being settled as colleague to the Doctor, only Mr. Potiphar (who can be stubborn, you know) insisted that the Rev. Cream Cheese, though a very good young man, he didn’t doubt, was addicted to candlesticks. I suppose that’s something awful. But, could you believe anything awful of him? I asked Mr. Potiphar what he meant by saying such things.
“I mean,” said he, “that he’s a Puseyite, and I’ve no idea of being tied to the apron-strings of the Scarlet Woman.”
Dear Caroline, who is the Scarlet Woman? Dearest, tell me, upon your honor, if you have ever heard any scandal of Mr. Potiphar?