"Tom Seddon," said Toney, "Dr. Johnson was of opinion that when a man attempted a pun in company he ought to be knocked down. But let me proceed in pointing out the obvious disadvantages of wearing tails. For instance, fashionable gentlemen, after having spent large sums of money in the elaborate adornment of their tails, might have them trodden upon as they walked the streets, and numerous assaults and batteries might thus be occasioned."
"No doubt of it! no doubt of it!" said Bragg. "I witnessed many fierce encounters among my friends in Africa, caused by men inadvertently treading on their neighbors' tails."
"Yes," said Toney, "some irascible editor or orator might have his tail crushed by the foot of his adversary on the hard pavement, and a mortal combat would be the lamentable consequence. Indeed, I would not answer for the patience and fortitude of a pious parson if, as he walked along the aisle of his church, one of the congregation should carelessly tread on his caudal extremity. I seriously apprehend that the reverend man would exhibit the irritability of a ferocious animal of the feline species under similar circumstances. Therefore, such being the great and manifest disadvantages of wearing tails, we must suppose that this useless appendage was severed from the body of the man."
"What was done with it?" inquired Seddon.
"It was fashioned into a woman," said Bragg.
"A what?" exclaimed Seddon, too astounded to laugh.
"Into a woman," reiterated Bragg.
"Why, I thought that woman was formed from a rib."
"That is an error of the translators," said Bragg. "I was so informed by a learned Hebrew whom I found living on the top of Mount Ararat, in a comfortable house constructed from the imperishable materials of Noah's Ark. He told me that the word should have been translated tail instead of rib."