"It is the devil. I wish to be good, to behave as I should - and yet I don't! If I had never been married to Childe it would be so different! Damnable to have done that to me! I believe it ruined me."
He yawned. "Where's the use in worrying? You were willing, weren't you?"
"At eighteen, and the hoyden that I was! What could I know of the matter? Papa made the match; I married to oblige my family, and wretched work I made of it!'Jasper - oh, don't let us talk of him: how I grew to loathe him! I was never more glad of anything than his death, and I swore then that no one - no one should ever possess me again! Even though I love Charles, even when I desire most earnestly to please him, there is something in me that revolts - yes, revolts, George! drives me to commit such acts of folly! I use him damnably, I suppose, and shall end by making us both wretched."
"Shouldn't be surprised," said George, with brotherly unconcern. "I know I wouldn't be in his shoes for a thousand pounds."
She underwent one of her lightning changes of mood, breaking into a gurgle of laughter. "You, without a feather to fly with! You'd sell your soul for half the sum!"
Chapter Eleven
The review of the Dutch - Belgian Army at Nivelles, by King William and the Duke of Wellington, passed off creditably. The Duke found the Nassau troops excellent; the Dutch Militia good, but young; and the Cavalry, though bad riders, remarkably well-mounted. Prince Frederick impressed him as being a fine lad, and he wrote as much to Earl Bathurst, in a private letter.
The pity was that his lordship was not similarly pleased with Prince Frederick's father. He was the most difficult person to deal with his lordship had ever met.
With professions in his mouth of a desire to do verything I can suggest, he objects to everything I propose; it then comes to be a matter of negotiation for a week, and at last is settled by my desiring him to arrange it as he pleases, and telling him that I will have nothing to say to him."
Bathurst, who was well acquainted with the Duke's temper, might smile a little over this letter, but there was no doubt that his lordship was being harassed on all sides. He was hampered by possessing no command over the King's Army; and he was receiving complaints at the conduct of his engineers at Ypres, who were accused of cutting his Majesty's timber for palisades.