“I am telling you, sir!” Tom argued, aggrieved. “You were not here, when I rode in, and the waiter said you was gone off somewhere with your bailiff. He is a famous fellow, sir! He took me—”
“Never mind that! What is this about Belinda?”
“Oh, that! Well, when I heard you was gone out, I thought I would go to those gardens again, and so I rode off down Bridge Street. And just as I came to Laura Place, I saw Belinda coming down the steps of one of the houses She did not see me, for I was not near, only I could not mistake, you know, because of her yellow hair, and besides that she had both those stupid bandboxes. So I didn’t go up to her, because she is such a bore, sir! And I was just going on my way when a fine beau jumped out of a hack that was standing close by, and he went smash up to Belinda, and took the boxes, and said something to her, and handed her into the hack, and got in after. And even then, sir, I didn’t think of what a lark I could kick up! Only, of course, I knew you would not like her to go off in a hack with the beau, so I thought I would follow it, and very likely rescue her, if she would like it, or at any rate see how it would be to be a Runner, or a spy, or some such thing. And only fancy, sir! the hack drove past the Pelican! And it went on for ever, almost out of the town! It stopped at last at a big inn, and Belinda got down, and the beau, too, and I could see they were arguing about something, though of course I was not near enough to hear what they said, but you know how Belinda looks when she does not like a thing! I really did think then that she would like to be rescued, and I dismounted, and tethered the cob, and went past the inn, pretending just to be sauntering along, you know. And I saw them through one of the front windows, and they were arguing—at least, the beau was, and Belinda was just sitting. So I thought I would make a plan to steal her away, and I was just on the point of hitting on something famous, I daresay, when the beau came out of the inn, and jumped into the hack, and shouted to the jarvey to drive to Milsom Street. I could see he was in a furious rage, and I quite thought Belinda had sent him to the rightabout, only that she never does, and he was a regular dash, I can tell you: complete to a shade! And of course she had not, but only to buy her a purple gown! Such stuff! I think girls are the stupidest things! For you must know, sir, that when the beau drove off I went in to rescue Belinda.” He paused and gave a disgusted sniff. “It would have been a splendid adventure, but she doesn’t care for anything jolly, and she wouldn’t go with me, not even when I told her you would not like her to talk to the strange beau. She said she was going to live in London, and have a grand lodging, and a carriage, and all sorts of trash, and she would not go back to the cross old lady, and you could not find Mr. Mudgley, so what else was she to do, and much more beside, but all fustian! I told her she would not go to London in a hack, for it was a great way off, and she said she was going in a chaise-and-four, like a lady, and that was what she was arguing about with the beau, for he wanted to drive her in his curricle, but she would not have it! Only fancy, sir! You would not have supposed that even Belinda could be so stupid! I wish I could drive to London in a curricle! I would gallop at such a rate! I would take the shine out of them all! I would—”
“Yes, yes, but what happened then?” interrupted the Duke.
“Oh there was no doing anything with her, sir! She said the beau was a lord, but I daresay that was a hum, and he had gone off to hire a chaise, and to buy this stupid dress for her. So I went away, and the more I thought of it the more I knew you would not like it. And then I thought of the most famous plot!” Tom’s eyes sparkled with reminiscent delight as he spoke; he looked appealingly at the Duke, and said: “You wouldn’t have liked it, would you, sir?”
“No, not at all. What was your plot?”
“Well, first, ” said Tom, relishing every moment of his recital, “I went back into the inn, and asked for the landlord, only when he came it wasn’t—I mean, it was a landlady, but it didn’t signify. I told her the smokiest story, sir! She was completely taken-in! I said I knew Belinda very well, and how I had seen her get into that hack with the strange beau, and that was quite true, at any rate. And then I said the beau was a lover Belinda’s pa didn’t like, and that they were off to Gretna Green, because Belinda was a great heiress, and the beau a wicked adventurer. I read a story like that once, only it was a stupid tale, with hardly any fights, and I never thought I should be glad I’d read it. It just shows one, doesn’t it, sir? The landlady was excessively shocked! I said there would be the deuce of a bobbery when it was discovered, and I thought I should go to warn Belinda’s pa. The landlady was frightened for her life, and she said it would be a bad thing for the house, but she could see Belinda was only a child, and it was a shame, and ought to be stopped. So then I said I would fob the beau off, if she would engage to keep Belinda out of the way, and make the ostlers swear they would tell the beau the same story that I did, if he should question them. But he was in such a taking that he never did! Only to ask the head ostler in the fiercest voice you ever heard if a chaise with yellow wheels and four gray horses had stopped at the inn, and of course the ostler said yes, grinning like road, because it had, you know!”
“Tom, Tom, you are going too fast for me! What has the chaise to do with it?”
“Oh, yes! Well, the landlady cajoled Belinda to go with her into a parlour at the back of the house, because she said she would be more comfortable there, and then I wrote a letter in the sort of way I thought very likely Belinda would. I wrote that you had come for her, sir, and would give her a better gown than the one in Milsom Street, and so she was going to London with you instead. And I put in that she was very much obliged to him, because I thought she would say that, to be civil. And then I went out into the road to wait, and after an age the beau drove up in a post-chaise-and-four, and jumped down, and I went up to him, and asked him in the sort of voice a stable-boy would if he was Lord Gaywood, which Belinda said he was. And he said yes, so I gave him the note, and said a young lady with yellow curls had given me a shilling to do so. And, oh, sir, I do think it was the most first-rate lark I’ve ever kicked up, for he flew into the deuce of a passion, and he looked as though he would like to murder someone! And he asked what horses were you driving, and I could see it was you he wanted to murder, so I said gray ones, like I told you, because there was a chaise with four splendid grays, and yellow wheels, and they were famous steppers, so that I should think he will not easily catch them, and so you will have time to fetch Belinda, and be off before he can come back. For he set off after the other chaise in a twinkling, sir, and told the post-boys they should have double fees if they caught up with it. Sir, are you pleased with me?”
“Tom, I am delighted with you!” the Duke assured him. “My only regret is that I cannot see Gaywood’s face when he does overtake that yellow-wheeled chaise! When you come to stay with me in London, you shall go to all the theatres, and the wild beast shows, and to Vauxhall, to see the fireworks, and anything else you may happen to have set your heart on! I am eternally obliged to you and if my uncle should hear about the sheep, you may tell him that I told you to shoot it! Will you do one thing more for me?”