1. This Club shall be known as the Ignoramus Club of ——.

4. Every member shall be pledged not to read the latest book until people have stopped expecting it.

5. The Club shall have a Standing Committee that shall report at every meeting on New Things That People Do Not Need to Know.

6. It shall have a Public Library Committee, appointed every year, to look over the books in regular order and report on Old Things That People Do Not Need to Know. (Committee instructed to keep the library as small as possible.)

8. No member (vacations excepted) shall read any book that he would not read twice. In case he does, he shall be obliged to read it twice or pay a fine (three times the price of book, net).

11. The Club shall meet weekly.

12. Any person of suitable age shall be eligible for membership in the Club, who, after a written examination in his deficiencies, shall appear, in the opinion of the Examining Board, to have selected his ignorance thoughtfully, conscientiously, and for the protection of his mind.

13. All persons thus approved shall be voted upon at the next regular meeting of the Club—the vote to be taken by ballot (any candidate who has not read When Knighthood Was in Flower, or Audrey, or David Harum—by acclamation).

Perhaps I have quoted from the by-laws sufficiently to give an idea of the spirit and aim of the Club. I append the order of meeting:

  1. Called to order.
  2. Reports of Committees.
  3. General Confession (what members have read during the week).
  4. FINES.
  5. Review: Books I Have Escaped.
  6. Essay: Things Plato Did Not Need to Know.
  7. Omniscience. Helpful Hints. Remedies.
  8. The Description Evil; followed by an illustration.
  9. Not Travelling on the Nile: By One Who Has Been There.
  10. Our Village Street: Stereopticon.
  11. What Not to Know about Birds.
  12. Myself through an Opera-Glass.
  13. Sonnet: Botany.
  14. Essay: Proper Treatment of Paupers, Insane, and Instructive People.
  15. The Fad for Facts.
  16. How to Organise a Club against Clubs.
  17. Paper: How to Humble Him Who Asks, “Have You Read——?”
  18. Essay, by youngest member: Infinity. An Appreciation.
  19. Review: The Heavens in a Nutshell.
  20. Review. Wild Animals I Do Not Want to Know.
  21. Exercise in Silence. (Ten Minutes. Entire Club.)
  22. Essay (Ten Minutes): Encyclopædia Britannica, Summary.
  23. Exercise in Wondering about Something. (Selected. Ten Minutes. Entire Club.)
  24. Debate: Which Is More Deadly—the Pen or the Sword?
  25. Things Said To-Night That We Must Forget.
  26. Adjournment. (Each member required to walk home alone looking at the stars.)